Sunday, July 31, 2005

I took the boys to my friend Carla's tonight to go swimming and play with her almost-3-year-old son. UberDad stayed home to continue work on the floors.

The thermometer outside read 110-degrees as we climbed into the lukewarm pool. The temp difference was just enough to relieve our hot bodies for an hour. My body finally relaxed enough that my brain could stop spinning for the first time since we got back.

I'm reading "The Life You've Always Wanted" by John Ortberg right now. It was a gift to all the Sunday school teachers in June, and the first time I've read this author. This passage made me laugh out loud and sigh in relief:
"There is good news here: Whatever your natural temperament may be, it is not a barrier to your spiritual growth.

Do you tend to be spontaneous, or are you a well-organized-plan-ahead type of person? ... (If you are still trying to decide which type you are, you can pretty much eliminate spontaneous.)"

Um, yeah, that would be me. (In my old life working at a newspaper, I was once accused of being "inflexible," mainly because I expressed irritation when the computer program needed for my specific job was completely overhauled while I was on vacation. Yes, I do like to be warned at least, if not consulted, before major changes are made to my daily life.)

Not much about my home or life right now says "organized." But spontaneity is something I have deliberately chosen to cultivate, if that's even possible, mostly as a coping technique for my inability to set boundaries and my desire to be available to interesting people and opportunities. I want to do the right thing (my sister would say that's because I'm a One on the Enneagram), so sometimes that means doing things spontaneously. But often what that really means is that I plan nothing and wait for things to just happen. And then when nothing happens, I feel all out of sorts because I was expecting something spontaneous. Or, I give up on spontaneous and make plans, only to have something spontaneous make me late for my planned event. Crazy, I know.

So, right now my house is in chaos, and I'm back to craving routine and structure and control ala Flylady (whose been relegated to no-mail for over a year). I think that means I should go to bed now. So I can get up and shower before noon. Unlike today, which was so filled with spontaneity that I never managed a shower.

No comments:

Related Posts with Thumbnails