Children and church

Christian Unschooling.com has a new post up about taking unschooled children to "Children's Church."

This can be such a challenging issue. As adult Christians we want the fellowship, or the litany, and to be fed in the Word, and we want to our children to feel at home at church, so they'll continue to be a part of the Body as they grow up. Some people go from church to church looking for a place where children are welcomed and families have options -- not just a place to drop off their kids, not just a program to entertain and "educate" them, but a place where Christ resides.

For me, the issue has always been ensuring that I respect what my children are ready for. My oldest son wanted to be with me until he was a toddler, and then he wanted to be where he could play and move. I volunteered in the nursery, but he was fine without me, too. My second son was totally different. He wasn't ready to leave my side until he was 5. So, he didn't. He was either with me in church, or I was with him in Sunday school.

My third son is just now old enough to attend Sunday school without me. I've been a nursery volunteer since before he was born. I haven't seen much of the inside of the sanctuary in that time, but that's okay. This Sunday, I took him in, got him settled, and then sat in the hallway listening to the class for 45 minutes.

I hadn't planned to spend the hour eavesdropping, it just worked out that way. (Honestly, I just needed a nap!) I did want to make sure he was truly okay with being there. The initial activity centered on coloring, which he doesn't care much about. But they didn't make him do it. He just sat and chatted, and the teachers were very sweet.

We are fortunate to be members at a fairly small parish, where the rules are not so firmly in place as to make flexibility for each child impossible. I know some local large churches where new parents would never be allowed to stay in the nursery with their toddler, while both parent and child take time to get comfortable there. But that's been regular practice while I've been involved in our nursery -- partly because it was important to me.

I'm typically not afraid to make my opinions known when I think it's really important. And I'm willing to step in and help if that's what it takes to make things how I think they should be. Not everyone feels comfortable doing that, and I'm sure it could get messy and obnoxious if everyone were like me!

I think the important thing is to know what's right for your child, and not to give up or give in if it's clearly not working. Try something different. Don't be afraid to ask for changes. Pray about it, and do what feels Right.

Labor Day

"Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!"
--Matt. 25:23

We spent today working together in the garden, sprucing up and doing end-of-the-summer chores. We were grateful for weather that was bearable into the afternoon.

I raked up old mulch and dead grass, Scott cleaned the pool, and the boys helped move things into the garage and line a flower bed with bricks. I hoped that might make the emptiness more cheerful.

It's rather brown and bleak back there right now, but at least it's tidier now.

The tomato plants are still producing, but look withered and worn from the extreme temperatures. But the winter squash plants are finally taking off, and there's new growth on the watermelon plant! The first few vines produced nothing, so we'll see if the new ones fare better.

It's time to pull out the corn, and plant peas, but I didn't get to it today. We came in, cleaned up, and decided to join friends for a movie.

Littlest got to hang out with his Papa, and the rest of us went off to see "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" again -- a fun treat after a hard day's work.

Just a funny

My eldest son sat next to me, munching on a pear he'd picked from my parents' tree. This was dessert after a lunch of sliced ham, a cookie, and milk.

"What would your Perfect Day be like, Eldest?" I asked.

"Cookies for every meal!"

"Hahaha. But you wouldn't really want just cookies for every meal, you'd be hungry all day."

"You're right. I'd want there to be trees where the branches are ribs... pig ribs. And the sidewalk is made out of bacon, and the street is made of steak."

"So, your Perfect Day is all about the food?"

"Yep!"

Yeah, what can I say? That's my kid.

Preparing for a new learning season

"Seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."
--Matthew 6:33

I like the image of Cousin Summer leaving with his knapsack, and Uncle Fall coming in with his books. But the weather is now muggy in addition to being hot, and we cannot expect it to feel like fall in the middle of August.

The school year has begun, nonetheless.

Declaring ourselves "unschoolers" does not free us from the dictates of the school calendar. Daddy is bound to it as a schoolteacher, and therefore we are influenced by it, too.

At church today we had our Sunday School "kickoff" -- an exciting, rather chaotic start to what I hope simply continues to create a love in my children's hearts for the Lord, His Word, His people, and our place of worship.

Tomorrow, local schoolbuses will barrel down our street at 7 a.m., dropping off kids who begin their day with breakfast at school, and stay until homework is done and parents are off work.

Even the public pool has officially declared summer over -- and I can tell you, I am not thrilled about this, since I promised to take the boys and was hoping to go this week.

But after this very busy, fun, messy summer, I have been craving routine and order, even structure. I've been seeking a map to follow to bring peace and quiet and comfort back to our days.

I've read blogs, considered resources, and stared at the mess of magnets on my fridge, trying to figure out how to fit everything in and simplify at the same time.

Fortunately, I remembered exactly where I needed to look first before making any decisions.

Somehow I fell out of our usual sanity-keeping routine. My energy level has improved, but my habits have scrambled to keep up. It's time to start the day with prayer, the Bible, and a shower. Seriously, it's that simple.

While I was contemplating a more structured approach to our learning activities at home, the boys were busy learning without any plans or schooling by me (besides sitting down and reading what they asked me to, or listening to them read what they asked to read).

Over the course of the last week, they "studied" math, phonics, astronomy, history, Bible, poetry and nature study, among other things.

Their "curriculum" sources included Starfall.com, library books, National Geographic channel, Mommy's brain, the front yard, the backyard, Daddy's brain, Usborne Sticker Math, and each other.

Littlest spent several hours two days in a row learning his letters and sounds on Starfall.com. He can now spell "cow."

Eldest and Middlest worked on double-digit addition, and single-digit multiplication via stickers, and then tested each other on the finer points of spelling according the many differing rules of English phonics I've explained along the way.

This is while I was trying to decide whether to sit down and do math and language arts on Tuesdays, Thursdays, or both.

I so appreciate what this blogger has to say about the whole learning thing. And I love the daily priorities she has set for her family.

The truth is, I am a Charlotte Mason-loving unschooler in philosophy. And in temperament, I need routine and rhythm, and a sense of direction guided by Someone bigger than myself.

And so I will continue to gather, and explore, and strew, and make plans, and cancel them. I will aim for Masterly Inactivity. And hopefully get a shower when I need it. Which is definitely every day.

I will follow Jesus as closely as I can, and love my children with all the strength He gives me.