Candlemas: Jesus is the Light of the world!

We're celebrating our first Candlemas today! I would have forgotten it again if it hadn't been for Kara's post earlier this week. Thanks, Kara!

Candlemas, or the Feast of the Presentation of the Lord, commemorates the presentation of Christ in the temple and the ritual purification of the Virgin Mary forty days after Jesus's birth.

  
And when the parents brought in the Child Jesus, to do for Him according to the custom of the law, (Simeon) took Him up in his arms and blessed God and said:

"Lord, now You are letting Your servant depart in peace,
According to Your word;
For my eyes have seen Your salvation
Which You have prepared before the face of all peoples,
A light to bring revelation to the Gentiles,
And the glory of Your people Israel.”

And Joseph and His mother marveled at those things which were spoken of Him.


--Luke 2:27b-33

The full gospel reading for the day is Luke 2:22-39.

In some countries, such as France, people eat crepes on Candlemas, and even play crepe-throwing games. We didn't have quite enough left over to do that -- and they were way too yummy!

 

Candlemas Morning Prayer

All-powerful Father,

Christ your Son became man for us

and was presented in the temple.

May he free our hearts from sin

and bring us into your presence.

We ask this through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,

who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit,

one God for ever and ever. Amen.

The Liturgy of the Hours

Canticle of Simeon (Nunc Dimittis)

 

Lord, now you let your servant go in peace,

your word has been fulfilled:

My own eyes have seen the salvation,

which you have prepared in the sight of every people:

a light to reveal you to the nations

and the glory of your people Israel.

From Christian Prayer, commonly said at Candlemas

Prayers for a kitchen in Advent

Lord, help me remember that I WILL NOT DIE if my kitchen isn't finished before Christmas.

Dad, if you even hint at the words "I told you so," you won't be getting a Christmas present. :P

How in the world am I going to host Christmas Eve for Scott's family without even a kitchen sink?!

Lord, help me remember that Christmas will still be Christmas even if I don't have a kitchen yet...

Such have been my thoughts and prayers the last few weeks. One-track.

It felt like a small miracle when I finished prepping and priming the cabinets, and we could finally bring them out of the weather and into the house. I knew there was little chance of having the kitchen ready for Thanksgiving, but I still hoped we could move things along in time for Christmas.

Scott has worked every possible minute of the last three weekends on the cabinets, adapting, levelling, installing, matching the new to the old, even building one from scratch where we had an unexpected hole. Every bit of this kitchen project has been tedious, one person working at a time, step by tiny step.

There is no speeding the process up. There is no HGTV or DIY Network crew standing by to help get the job done in four days flat. There is no budget for hiring a team of experts. This is our DIY project, and we are doing it ourselves, however long it takes, and with the understanding that the ability to do any of it at all is a blessing.

It seems the theme of the last several posts here has been waiting. As I learned from Kimberlee Conway Ireton, wait is also the watchword for this first week of Advent. I'm thinking it's also my personal watchword of the year.

In any case, I am clinging desperately to the knowledge that this season is about CHRIST.  Not about having a pretty, decorated house. Not about baking cookies to give away. Not about being a good hostess, or making everything perfectly "Christmasy." Not about me.

I have struggled the last several months with the guilt that this kitchen remodel has taken so much of my focus, time, and energy, that I have been so unavailable to do for others. I have wondered if it will feel like a stolen blessing when it's over.

I absolutely must rest in the knowledge that this project is even more temporal than this life. That every moment is a gift, but the greatest gift is Christ. That I need only to praise Him in thankfulness -- no matter the circumstance, no matter how chaotic my life looks and feels, no matter how I fail to be like Him.

I want to infuse my veins with the Gospel, a constant reminder that He came, He died, He rose again -- His work is done, even if mine is not.

I will await His coming expectantly, doing what I can to prepare, but knowing that ultimately, His perfect timing does not, and will never, depend on me.


May our hearts and minds remain focused on the Lord this Advent as we anticipate and celebrate the holy day of Christmas. Amen.

Guest post: Waiting on God's Timing

As the season of Advent begins, and we await the joyous celebration of our Lord's birth, I am happy to share with you this guest post by blogger and new mom Heather at ThenComesMercy.com.

Waiting on God's Timing

I was five days past my due date. The idea of leaving the house—even just to pick up a gallon of milk—felt overwhelming. We live in a small town and everyone from our neighbors to the ladies at our community bank knew my due date. When the date came and went without fanfare, both my husband and I were inundated with calls, texts, Facebook messages:

"Where's the baby?"

"He sure is taking his sweet time!"

"You must feel so disappointed that he's still not here yet!"

I started sending my husband out for milk and bread and sequestered myself in the house. Each day, we prayed for God to send our son. Each evening, I would get ready for bed again with a heavy heart.

To be completely honest, the waiting seemed, well, unfair—we'd had a miscarriage the year before and it'd taken several months for us to get a positive pregnancy test again. Then God spoke to me about my heart—did I really feel entitled to be a mom? Did I view it as something God owed me, rather than a grace—a totally undeserved gift? 

I'm ashamed to admit that I did view it as an automatic, no-questions-asked "next chapter" in our lives: marriage, buying a house, having a baby. Over the past year, He has shown me the truth of Isaiah 55:8-9: "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." 

In case you're wondering, the waiting didn't last forever. On the evening of October 14, my water broke and—shortly after noon on October 15, 2011—our baby boy was born. Even after nine months of preparation, I was still in disbelief that the waiting was over. I was in awe of the blessing which, somehow, still felt unexpected. Seeing our baby open his eyes for the first time was a moment I'll never forget.

I do not have a son now because of my faith or because of any good works I've done. I truly believe it is a mercy of God. Undeserved, given due to nothing in me. This gift is for His own purposes. I pray for a spirit like Hannah's in the Bible (1 Samuel 1:27-28)—to recognize that this child is not mine. To remember that waiting yields fruit in God's timing. To remember that God's timing is not my timing, but that it is far better—it is perfect.


Congratulations, Heather, on the arrival of your baby boy! God is always faithful when we wait on Him! For more of Heather, please visit her blog at ThenComesMercy.com.

Enjoying the view, however foggy.

When I was 16, my grandmother took me to Europe. We boarded train after train so she could introduce me to her family and friends all over Germany.

At one point during the trip, she wanted to surprise me with our next stop. We got on a train, but she wouldn't tell me where we were going.

I couldn't handle it.

I couldn't relax into my seat and enjoy the view, not knowing whether we'd be sitting there for 15 minutes, or four hours. Should I start a new chapter in my book? Did I have time to write a letter? It was unnerving.

So, I threw a bit of a fit, insisting that she tell me how long we'd be on the train. She refused, because she knew I could look at the train schedule and figure out where we would be getting off -- and the surprise would be ruined. (We were equally stubborn!) Never mind that I hate surprises.

I'm sorry to say that nearly 20 years later, I am no less likely to throw a fit when I feel out of control, blind to the future and not knowing what to do with myself while I wait for the next thing.

Which is why Nicole's new post at Burning Bushes about Psalm 25 and trusting in the Lord to know the way forward hit me so hard.

This has been a very long month, for no other reason than it's January, and the Tule fog is blinding me.

I know it looks all fun and games around here most of the time, and that part of this life is very real. I have SO much to thankful for!! But sometimes I'm also working really hard not to show you my Ugly Cry. It can get really ugly.

You, my friends, deserve to see the whole picture. You have been so supportive and encouraging, and I am so grateful. Even though I sometimes wonder, "What the heck do they see in me?"

I know better than to ask that question. I know if you see anything in me at all, that it's Him. And I know that His grace is sufficient to cover all my insecurities, doubts and neuroses.

So why can't I trust Him to take me where I need to go?

Courtesy Wikipedia

Heidelberg. That's where my Omie was taking me. Beautiful Heidelberg, where we could climb up to the ruins of a Renaissance castle, and peer down to a gorgeous view of the Rhein river.

No friends to visit and try to make stilted conversation with in my beginner German. Not the disturbing death camp of Dachau. Heidelberg.

This life is so beautiful. God has given me nothing but blessings.

And I am learning, oh so slowly, to stop fretting about what to do with myself, and just enjoy the view.

Do not remember the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you, LORD, are good... He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way. --Psalm 25:7,9 

It's beginning to feel...

  ...a lot like Christmas.

The pageant...

The baking...

The gaming...

 

A tiny bit of last minute crafting...

 The cold, rainy weather (with one afternoon of sunshine and a mad dash to the park)...

The waiting... it's almost here!

Preparing for Christmas

The lights are up, the stockings are hung, the decorations have been out for two weeks...

 

The tree is finally complete, the shelves have been dusted, the toys decluttered, laundry folded and put away, fridge and freezer stocked, three batches of cookies baked. Everyone has helped to make the house festive...

We've had our first Christmas party with friends.

My shopping is just about finished. (My crafting was hardly begun.) The packages that cluttered one end of my dining table for three days have been mailed.

Even the weather is ready for Christmas. The mulberries -- the last trees to change color each December and announce the impending arrival of Christmas -- have dropped their leaves, carpeting the neighborhood in bright yellow shag. The rain has been cleaning the air outside.



So, when will my heart be ready? Why does it feel so heavy?

I simplified. I planned. We made our own fun when the plans were derailed. The derailing continues, but that's to be expected. Two colds and the flu in the middle of sugar and stress season.

I am off my diet, friends. We've been reading our Advent book, but I haven't been doing my own devotions. I am not taking care of myself, nor am I spending enough time with the Lord. We are all suffering for it. The house may look festive, but our hearts are not feeling it.

In those days John the Baptist came, preaching in the wilderness of Judea and saying, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near.
--Matthew 3:1-2

I have a week to spend down on my knees, to let Him teach me patience while I cry out in impatience, to put my eyes back on Him, where they belong. I have a week to slow down, and give my energy to my family, who deserve it.

It is a long journey, this wait for the arrival of the King.

Early morning prayers

She gets up while it is still dark,
She provides food for her family...
--Proverbs 31:15

The days are growing shorter, and the early mornings darker. My doctor told me two months ago to sleep in because my body needed it, but this week I've been waking up in the dark, much earlier than usual.

I don't know if it's because Littlest spent a few days waking at 5 while adjusting to the colder temperatures, or because my cortisol levels are improving. I'm not seeing other evidence of this, but I want to take advantage of my eyes popping open -- better to get up early and take a nap later, than oversleep. I went back to sleep the other day after waking up when Scott got up, and my only reward was a nightmare.

She watches over the affairs of her household,
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
--Proverbs 31:27

There have been days recently when I could not get out of bed. When I felt the same as when I had mononucleosis as a child, and lay in bed too tired to even watch tv. There have been other days when I moved as much as I could, but wore out quickly. There have been days when I felt "normal" again, and used every ounce I had, only to be useless the next day. And there have been times when I probably could do more, but chose to be idle instead.

It is difficult with a chronic illness to find the balance between resting to recover, and working to recover. Because if I do not put some effort into planning and preparing meals, and learning more about adrenal fatigue, it may get worse. I need to lean on the Lord every day, and continue to pray for healing, but he has also given us "every green plant for food" -- part of His healing regimen is ready for the eating.

I had a few good weeks after my diagnosis, after getting off sugar and caffeine, taking my supplements, and improving my diet. It was almost too easy. And it didn't last. I got the flu, my adrenals took another hit, and I needed to start all over.

It does not depend, therefore, on man's desire or effort, but on God's mercy.
--Romans 9:16

I have to be careful not to grow discouraged, when eating feels like a chore -- when so many things that used to give me pleasure are now forbidden. I have to be careful not to despair, when my energy runs out before the day's even begun, when the infection for which I cannot take medicine returns, when my blood sugar and hormones cause my mood to drop dangerously low and the boys can see it on my face, even if I bite my tongue.

All day long I have been plagued, and punished every morning.
--Psalm 73:14

And yet, I know this is such a mild, temporary ailment. All around me I witness others suffering from life-threatening disease, from heart-breaking circumstances, from chronic pain which will not end.

I know I am abundantly blessed, with a husband who loves and cares for me, with three beautiful, healthy children, with a home we can afford, and food and clothing as we need it, with friends who know and love me, and parents who live close and are not estranged.

I can know all these things, but if I do not put my hope in the Lord, if I do not listen carefully to His voice, and not my raging thoughts, then I grow hopeless.

But now, Lord, what do I look for?
My hope is in You.
--Psalm 39:7

I am so thankful that I know what the issue is now, and that healing is on its way. I am so thankful that He is with me every step of the way. I am so thankful that He's given us His Word for encouragement, and made healing possible with His blood.

Book review: One Million Arrows

Sometimes, when bedtime arrives and we're all extra tired, we replace our usual nighttime prayers with this simple one my husband taught the boys:

"Lord Jesus, help us to change the world."

It's a simple prayer. But it's not always so simple to know how to raise our children to be world-changers.

Fortunately, we're not talking to ourselves. If we ask the Lord for help, He's going to send help! And so it seems, Julie Ferwerda's book, One Million Arrows: Raising Your Children to Change the World, is an answer to prayer.

To be honest, when I received the book (after agreeing to review it for the blog tour), I hesitated to begin it. From the first glance, I could tell it would be soul-reaching. Be careful what you pray for.

What does it mean to be a world-changer? What does it mean to be an arrow in the hands of God?

As Christians, we are called to share the Good News of Christ with the whole world. As Christian parents, we are called to train our children for that mission -- to shape arrows for Christ's bow. We know that His Love can change the world, and He will use His sharpened arrows to reach those who do not yet know Him.

The responsibility to share Christ's love beyond our own community can be overwhelming at times -- it's a GOD-sized mission! But the message of One Million Arrows, while certainly challenging in its call, is told with enthusiastic grace and love, and is full of inspiring examples and practical ideas.

Julie joyfully introduces us to parents who have successfully raised their children to be servants of Christ in a bigger-than-average way, and how those children have reached countless more -- specifically those with no parents of their own. Through Scripture and personal stories, she makes the way clear to open our hearts to orphans, widows, and others in need even if we don't have children of our own.

One Million Arrows is an inspired, encouraging vision of the amazing work that is already being done by arrow-shapers across the world, and a practical, Biblical vision of why and how we can join their ranks.

"Listen, far-flung islands, pay attention, faraway people:
God put me to work from the day I was born. The moment I entered the world he named me. He gave me speech that would cut and penetrate. He kept his hand on me to protect me. He made me his straight arrow and hid me in his quiver. He said to me, "You're my dear servant, Israel, through whom I'll shine."

--Isaiah 49: 1-3 (The Message)

You can find more information about the mission of One Million Arrows at the website. All proceeds from the book will go to international orphan ministry.

Observing Lent

Lent is the season before Easter when we prepare our hearts to remember Christ's Death and celebrate His Resurrection in full awareness of our need for Salvation. We observe Lent for 40 days just as Jesus spent 40 days in the desert resisting Satan before beginning His ministry.

We have been sick the last two weeks -- the boys got better, then I got sick, then they got sick again. We are definitely feeling in need of salvation.

God's timing is always perfect, of course. He knew I'd need a kick in the pants to keep my promise to spend this time killing off my sugar cravings and caring for this temple. And He's helped me every moment -- I haven't craved it.

I had one last chocolate cupcake at the skating rink on Tuesday, and it didn't even taste good. (Though I hope no one else thought that!) I weaned myself off Starbucks with a plain ol' decaf soy latte -- no more pumpkin spice, no more cinnamon dolces.

My dad picked up lunch for us today, my parents' first day home after a week in Florida. He brought cookies -- and I didn't even look at them. That wasn't my self-control -- that was purely the Holy Spirit!!

Please pray He continues to help me.

And, if you like, you can print off a Lenten calendar to use with the kiddos, or make a nature-inspired calendar, or a use a Greek-style coloring page. Lacy at Catholic Icing has lots more great ideas to use during Lent.

Simplify, schmimplify.

I've discovered a little truth this month. And it may be just the thing to save my sanity this Christmas -- because it's been on its way out.

The directive to "simplify Christmas" is an impossibility.

What would have made this month simpler? Well, I suppose I could have called all my friends and family in November and said, "We're not participating in the festivities this year. Please don't send us any presents, or money for the kids, or invitations to parties. Don't expect Christmas cards with updated photos of the family. Don't expect gifts from us, either. We want to avoid rushing around to get it all done.

"And by all means, don't stop by to visit without calling at least two weeks in advance."

Lately, I've been hearing the message that rushing during Advent is akin to sin, and misses the point of the season. After all, how can we prepare our hearts for the coming of our Savior, if we're busy checking off our lists -- and trying not to be late to church potlucks?

It's a tough one.

And so, organized types encourage us to start planning earlier, promising that if we just follow their 12-week plan, we won't feel rushed, and we'll have the happiest, most peaceful holiday ever!

Except that life doesn't follow a 12-week plan. Not everyone knows in October whether they'll be able to travel in December -- or whether they'll have custody of their kids on Christmas Day. Life requires you to adjust your plans to accommodate others' plans that you have no control over.

Life sends rainclouds over your leaky roof right before Christmas, leaving you cold and wet, and obliterating your party schedule. Life also sends your neighbor over with a spontaneous invitation to a round of wassail!

Life sends gifts from friends you love, but were too obsessed with trying to simplify to shop for -- and sends you to the last-minute sales to reciprocate.

Christmas is NOT simple. Christmas is complicated.

Was it simple for God to say, "Heck, it's a mess down there, I guess I'll just come down and clean it up myself." Well, maybe to say it. To do it? I think the New Testament shows otherwise.

Was it simple for Mary to accept Gabriel's message that she was going to be an unwed mother? Somehow, I don't think she said, "Sure, I'd be happy to carry God's son. My parents and fiance will understand. No biggie."

Was it simple for Joseph and Mary to get to Bethlehem? No, it was complicated. And they were freakin' exhausted when they got there.

I'm a little tired, too -- probably from staying up too late playing Santa while the children slept. I've checked a lot off my list. I still have to check it twice. I cannot say, "Whew, I'm totally ready for Christmas, nothing left to do except wait."

When there's nothing left to do to prepare our hearts for Christ's coming, He'll already be here.

21 20...16 days 'til Christmas!

Goodness, where have the days gone? To tree-trimming and gift-wrapping, errand-running and story-reading, laundry-washing and pageant-rehearsing...

And it rained! So, after a cold, wet couple of days, we decided to head to the park this afternoon and enjoy the sunshine -- unfortunately it looked warmer than it really was, and we didn't stay for long! But I got to try out my new camera lens (Nikkor 55-200mm)... I just wish I knew what I was doing!

25 Days to Christmas: Lighting the Advent candle

Doh! I've been reading instead of blogging.

Well, goodness.

Thank you all for your thoughtful, encouraging words on my last post. I really do feel supported by kindred spirits -- especially since my followers list is quickly creeping up to the 100th person mark!

I feel like I should have a giveaway in honor of the occasion to thank you for bothering to keep up with me! (And to make up for not posting in over a week -- sheesh!) And, what should I give away?

Why, a book, of course! ('Cause I really can't think of anything better.) Which book, I have no idea yet. But may I tell you what I've been reading while I've been neglecting the blog?

From this week's stack:

• For the Children's Sake: Foundations for Life and Home, by Susan Schaeffer Macauley. Oh, this was SUCH a lovely book. Macauley beautifully describes Charlotte Mason's gentle, balanced, respectful and absolutely Christian approach to parenting and educating children. Find it, and read it now!

• Creation Revealed: A Study of Genesis Chapter One in the Light of Modern Science, by Fredk. A . Filby. I'm halfway through this book, which I found in our collection a couple weeks ago, and am thoroughly enjoying it. It's unfortunately out of print, but here's a sample:

"But what is more important than all, God is no longer the God of one tiny piece of matter which we call the Earth; He is the Creator of millions of stars stretching away into the remotest depths of space. In such proportion as the modern astronomers have enriched our conception of 'heaven and earth' beyond that of the Hebrews, by so much should our generation have increased our conception of the greatness of God."

• The History of the Ancient World, by Susan Wise Bauer. I've been recently bothered by the gaping hole in my head when it comes to knowledge of history. So, after we checked out Bauer's Story of the World on CD from the library a month ago, I decided to request the grown-up version, too. I'm working through it very slowly, but it's really fascinating.

• Raising a Left-Brain Child in a Right-Brain World, by Katharine Beals, PhD. Yeah, you read that right. Maybe you've heard of Right-Brained Children in a Left-Brained World? Well, I suppose what kind of world it is depends on whose brain is making the observations! Beals' premise is that traditional left-brain methods of teaching are being replaced by more right-brained methods, particularly group work, oral participation requirements, and hands-on activities, which pose challenges for smart, introverted, left-brained kids with bad handwriting who would otherwise do well in school.
  

I could relate to much of what she said from my own experience in grammar school, even though that was 25 years ago. I was often confused by my literal interpretation of badly written test or homework questions; I was marked down on math homework for "not showing my work" even though the answers were all correct; I was frustrated by open-ended projects. And I don't even consider myself extremely left-brained. I could see much more of my husband in this book.

The author, on the other hand, is an extreme left-brainer who makes her points quite clearly, but does not hide her disdain for right-brained educational theories, including project-based learning and non-academic "discovery-oriented" methods! (This, I found highly amusing in my own quirky way.)

I'm sure which kind of teaching happens in a classroom varies quite widely, and probably both books address important issues. I think it's likely that my kids are more left-brained than right, but I'm not sure the line is drawn perfectly straight. Eldest and I are quite visual, we just don't care to express our thoughts in two-dimensional images. Mainly what I took from this book was affirmation that structure and sequential, direct instruction are perfectly appropriate for certain types of thinkers. Surprise, surprise!

Alright, enough blabbing from me tonight. Maybe I'll get to post what the boys are reading before another week goes by!

What I've been pondering this month

"Research is what I am doing when I don't know what I am doing."
--Wernher Von Braun

Hmm. Maybe it's time for a vote.

I've been told by a good friend whom I happened to help convert to unschooling that I'm no longer an unschooler.

And really, I should be okay with that. I completely related to Tammy's post on the subject. I haven't participated in unschooling lists in forever. That was partially because lists are difficult to keep up with, and I prefer blogs.

And it was partially because I got tired of the way radical unschoolers so often tried to school the non-unschoolers in the correct ways of unschooling -- Sheesh! Unfortunately, I myself was guilty of that -- especially early on, when I had only two children, and they were far from school age. It's easy not to worry when the expectations are still so low!

I get it, I do. (I think I do.) I certainly don't want to discourage anyone who's reading and new to unschooling from continuing on that path. I'm not about to sit my kids down and say, "Okay, I've decided you need to learn this and this, and we're going to sit here every day until that's done. Even if we're both crying."

I don't think it's that black and white. It's not an either-or. You're not either following the path of Unschooling Enlightenment or on the road to Homeschool Hell.

Radical unschoolers have bad days, too. And non-unschooling homeschoolers can also experience joy and freedom in their choices.

(How convoluted these labels have become.)

We all have to figure out what works for our families. We all have to come to terms with our fears. Whether it's being so afraid of our kids not learning what they need that we coerce them until we're all miserable, or being so afraid of making a parenting mistake that we're unable to lead when our children need leadership.

Don't all parents start out with one foot in a place of Worry and the other in a place of Hope? Aren't all homeschoolers making sacrifices and taking a risk by jumping off the schoolbus while it's barreling down our culture's road? (Whether you're on the bus or running next to it, the road is full of holes.)

I sincerely believe that the Lord led me to the philosophy of unschooling to keep me from falling into patterns of perfectionism and control, and burdening my children with unreasonable expectations. We needed to experience the freedom of natural learning.

"There are a myriad of ways to learn about something. Rather than handing these things over to our children as a fait accompli, we want them to discover them on their own.

You’ve heard about slow food; this is slow learning. If you bring your child 20 books from the library, then announce a trip to the museum on Friday, you may succeed in getting done sooner.

But if you let your child go to the library and talk to the librarian about how to find books, let your child decide which books look like they have the best information ... well, it’s going to take a lot longer. But they are learning all the while."

--Camp Creek Blog

Unschooling gave us time. Time to explore without pressure of performance. Time to grow and mature at our own speed. We learned a lot on that path.

Oh, but it can be slow! And some of us are impatient and want to see proof. We don't want to take chances with our children's education. Trust is so difficult. I know it is only by God's grace that I made it as far as I did without worrying about the boys learning to read. But it happened. It worked.

The thing is, I have things to learn from other educational philosophies as well. I think wherever this homeschooling journey takes us, I will always be an unschooler at heart. I just can't guarantee it will look like it.

"...Education is a *life* as well as a discipline. Health, strength, and agility, bright eyes, and alert movements, come of a free life, out-of-doors, if it may be, and as for habits, there is no habit or power so useful to man or woman as that of personal initiative. The resourcefulness which will enable a family of children to invent their own games and occupations through the length of a summer's day is worth more in after life than a good deal of knowledge about cubes and hexagons, and this comes, not of continual intervention on the mother's part, but of much masterly inactivity."

--Charlotte Mason

That, to me, sounds like the heart of unschooling. There is certainly a difference between the philosophies, but I know I'm not alone in appreciating them both, and wanting to integrate methods somehow.

"Can you still be an unschooler if you make a plan? I think so, especially if those plans are based on the student's desires, made with their consent, and open to change. That's how we operate as human beings. We have hopes and dreams, and whether we realize it or not, we move that direction. If the path takes twists and turns, we adapt, and sometimes we trade plans in for new ones. But we are forever moving forward, and what we do now effects our future."

--Jena at Yarns of the Heart

And so, I've been making plans, buying materials, trying to find a daily rhythm that flexes with the changing needs of our family. I'm excited to share all of this with you!

But I don't want to confuse anyone about where I'm coming from, or whom I'm following. It's not John Holt, Sandra Dodd, or even dear Charlotte. I'm still trying to follow Christ, and completely dependent on His mercy and grace to show me where to lead my children next -- even as they learn to follow Him themselves.

Children and church

Christian Unschooling.com has a new post up about taking unschooled children to "Children's Church."

This can be such a challenging issue. As adult Christians we want the fellowship, or the litany, and to be fed in the Word, and we want to our children to feel at home at church, so they'll continue to be a part of the Body as they grow up. Some people go from church to church looking for a place where children are welcomed and families have options -- not just a place to drop off their kids, not just a program to entertain and "educate" them, but a place where Christ resides.

For me, the issue has always been ensuring that I respect what my children are ready for. My oldest son wanted to be with me until he was a toddler, and then he wanted to be where he could play and move. I volunteered in the nursery, but he was fine without me, too. My second son was totally different. He wasn't ready to leave my side until he was 5. So, he didn't. He was either with me in church, or I was with him in Sunday school.

My third son is just now old enough to attend Sunday school without me. I've been a nursery volunteer since before he was born. I haven't seen much of the inside of the sanctuary in that time, but that's okay. This Sunday, I took him in, got him settled, and then sat in the hallway listening to the class for 45 minutes.

I hadn't planned to spend the hour eavesdropping, it just worked out that way. (Honestly, I just needed a nap!) I did want to make sure he was truly okay with being there. The initial activity centered on coloring, which he doesn't care much about. But they didn't make him do it. He just sat and chatted, and the teachers were very sweet.

We are fortunate to be members at a fairly small parish, where the rules are not so firmly in place as to make flexibility for each child impossible. I know some local large churches where new parents would never be allowed to stay in the nursery with their toddler, while both parent and child take time to get comfortable there. But that's been regular practice while I've been involved in our nursery -- partly because it was important to me.

I'm typically not afraid to make my opinions known when I think it's really important. And I'm willing to step in and help if that's what it takes to make things how I think they should be. Not everyone feels comfortable doing that, and I'm sure it could get messy and obnoxious if everyone were like me!

I think the important thing is to know what's right for your child, and not to give up or give in if it's clearly not working. Try something different. Don't be afraid to ask for changes. Pray about it, and do what feels Right.

Preparing for a new learning season

"Seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."
--Matthew 6:33

I like the image of Cousin Summer leaving with his knapsack, and Uncle Fall coming in with his books. But the weather is now muggy in addition to being hot, and we cannot expect it to feel like fall in the middle of August.

The school year has begun, nonetheless.

Declaring ourselves "unschoolers" does not free us from the dictates of the school calendar. Daddy is bound to it as a schoolteacher, and therefore we are influenced by it, too.

At church today we had our Sunday School "kickoff" -- an exciting, rather chaotic start to what I hope simply continues to create a love in my children's hearts for the Lord, His Word, His people, and our place of worship.

Tomorrow, local schoolbuses will barrel down our street at 7 a.m., dropping off kids who begin their day with breakfast at school, and stay until homework is done and parents are off work.

Even the public pool has officially declared summer over -- and I can tell you, I am not thrilled about this, since I promised to take the boys and was hoping to go this week.

But after this very busy, fun, messy summer, I have been craving routine and order, even structure. I've been seeking a map to follow to bring peace and quiet and comfort back to our days.

I've read blogs, considered resources, and stared at the mess of magnets on my fridge, trying to figure out how to fit everything in and simplify at the same time.

Fortunately, I remembered exactly where I needed to look first before making any decisions.

Somehow I fell out of our usual sanity-keeping routine. My energy level has improved, but my habits have scrambled to keep up. It's time to start the day with prayer, the Bible, and a shower. Seriously, it's that simple.

While I was contemplating a more structured approach to our learning activities at home, the boys were busy learning without any plans or schooling by me (besides sitting down and reading what they asked me to, or listening to them read what they asked to read).

Over the course of the last week, they "studied" math, phonics, astronomy, history, Bible, poetry and nature study, among other things.

Their "curriculum" sources included Starfall.com, library books, National Geographic channel, Mommy's brain, the front yard, the backyard, Daddy's brain, Usborne Sticker Math, and each other.

Littlest spent several hours two days in a row learning his letters and sounds on Starfall.com. He can now spell "cow."

Eldest and Middlest worked on double-digit addition, and single-digit multiplication via stickers, and then tested each other on the finer points of spelling according the many differing rules of English phonics I've explained along the way.

This is while I was trying to decide whether to sit down and do math and language arts on Tuesdays, Thursdays, or both.

I so appreciate what this blogger has to say about the whole learning thing. And I love the daily priorities she has set for her family.

The truth is, I am a Charlotte Mason-loving unschooler in philosophy. And in temperament, I need routine and rhythm, and a sense of direction guided by Someone bigger than myself.

And so I will continue to gather, and explore, and strew, and make plans, and cancel them. I will aim for Masterly Inactivity. And hopefully get a shower when I need it. Which is definitely every day.

I will follow Jesus as closely as I can, and love my children with all the strength He gives me.

This post is as overstuffed as our week was.

“Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy! He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.”
--Psalm 126:5-6

As a friend said to me this week, "My cup runneth over and spilleth all over the floor."

It's been a very full week. Full of celebrations and laughter, full of emotions and tears.

My oldest son turned eight years old on Thursday. EIGHT! He received his first pocketknife, his first analog watch, and his first Rubik's Cube. Scott took the day off work, and we celebrated simply with friends and cupcakes at the park.

I cried all the next day. Over clean socks on the floor and other such nonsense. I was trying to catch up on the house and the garden after two weeks of alternating busy-ness and tiredness, and it was obviously too much for one day.

Thank you for all the well wishes and inquiries. I haven't seen the doctor about my test results yet, so I don't know any more, but my hormones were certainly doing their own thing this week. And I've been trying to prepare myself for their next arrival.

After I let out all the yuckies, Saturday was a lovely day. The boys wore themselves out on two bounce houses, sack races, and an inflated obstacle course, first at another birthday party and then our church's spring picnic. They slept hard last night!


Yesterday was good, too. I didn't even mind being peed on during nursery duty. I had a friend to chat and commiserate with, and we always enjoy ourselves.

Later in the day, we took the boys and my parents bowling, since that's what my Birthday Boy had requested instead of a big party. That was so much fun, we wondered why we don't do it more often!


I also got to spend some time in the garden. It was warm, and everything needed a drink. The tomato plants are doing well, including two volunteers that popped up in the compost pile. The corn, zucchini and green beans have sprouted. And the potatoes are starting to come up, too!


I started basil and another batch of peppers and tomatoes in cups. It was 99 degrees last Monday, but it's supposed to be in the 80s this week. If it gets very hot again before they're up, I'll bring them inside. We planted cantaloupe, watermelon, Delicata squash and butternut squash seeds directly in the ground.


Now that the garden is basically planted, I'm ready to focus on the indoors for a while. As long as I water once a day, and weed at least once a week, the garden should just do its thing for a while.

But the house needs some serious decluttering, organizing and spring cleaning! We'll see how that goes... I'm trying to let go of the impossible and just abide in Him.

Hold me tight, Lord, and don't let me get away.