Wednesday, September 28, 2005

How's this for a visual?

So much for Park Day. Puffer woke up at 3:30 this morning blowing red chunks. I mean that literally. Across his bed, his brother's bed, the rug, my arm, and into the bathroom. Three loads of laundry from five minutes of puking.

Fortunately, the event has not yet repeated itself. Not that Grouper couldn't do the same thing tonight. But hopefully not. I won't let him eat apple slices and tomato before bed. Puffer went back to sleep after a nice bath and new sheets, but has eaten very little today. I made banana bread, 'cause I thought that might help him feel better, and we played Battleship this afternoon. It's been a pretty lazy day. The house is a mess.

My mom offered to babysit so Scott and I can go out to dinner with my sister and her fiance tonight. Hopefully everyone's food will stay in their tummies while we're gone.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Potty Learning Progress Report

Oh, I guess there is one more significant thing happening here. Grouper has used the potty to pee in TWICE this week. This really is significant, even though he's used the kitchen floor a few more times than that. At least he's no longer completely averse to the idea. Now, if only he'd start pooping at home instead of only when we go out somewhere.

Craziness runs in the family.

Well, life around here has been pretty well focused on the subjects of my last two posts -- my pregnancy, and my maternal grandmother. My parents went down today to visit her in a psychiatric hospital where she's been since Saturday night, when she called 911 five or six times. The police finally decided she needed to be taken in for treatment.

That was actually her second check in to a hospital this week. The first time she was diagnosed with severe dehydration, a UTI, and a small mass was found on her brain. So far, the doctors aren't saying much about the mass, except they don't think it's related to the dementia, which apparently has been going on for quite a while, possibly a decade.

Unfortunately, my grandmother been the stubborn naturalist she is, she's refusing any treatment. They rehydrated her, but after two days she ripped out the IV. They got her to take anti-psychotic medicine for a couple more days, but now she's refusing that, too, and is on the phone every day with patient rights activists. Apparently she's taken to keeping an eye on all the other patients, too, to make sure they're being treated well. She was a nurse, after all.

The hardest thing, besides knowing that she's having disturbing hallucinations, is not knowing what's going to happen next. My parents haven't hired an attorney yet, but that's probably going to happen soon, because the doctors can't share much information with them otherwise. We don't know how long they can keep her in the hospital. She's talked to psychiatrists, but it's not going to do much, since she won't take the meds, she's extremely secretive, and her brain has been imagining impossible scenarios for much longer than we realized. Apparently she said some things to my middle sister quite a long time ago that coincides with what she's told us this summer.

Anyhow, it's been pretty wearing, and the hormonal exhaustion has been setting in. It's time to cut back on activities a little, so I can keep up with the basics at home and still be in a good mood for my family. I can push myself when I'm tired, but not when I'm dizzy or really cranky. I have to eat more often, but still try to avoid sugar. NO MORE SCONES. As yummy as the one I had this morning was, my blood sugar dropped so fast I had to sit down on the floor of a toy store, and Raving Lunatic Mommy appeared not long after. Ugh.

Thankfully, the boys have forgiven me, and tomorrow's a new day. Park Day, even.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

More news

Doesn't it seem like good news always must be accompanied by bad? Today's news is about my grandmother.

Yesterday she called me and said some really weird things. She talked for 45 minutes, but I never got to tell her my news. She's always driven us a little crazy, but this time she was completely loony. She's been hearing things in her apartment all summer, and we didn't know what to make of it because reality was mixed in just enough to make us wonder. Plus she lives two hours away. We've known she has paranoia issues for a long time, but this went way beyond exagerrating everything she hears on the news. But she's so secretive and controlling, even though we suspected she probably had vitamin deficiencies from not eating enough, we couldn't do much about it.

Anyhow, yesterday it became obvious that she's been hallucinating severely, and is blaming my parents for all the things she's been hearing. My mom went down after a disturbing phone call, but my grandmother was completely irrational and kicked her out. My poor mother felt helpless.

Fortunately, my grandmother called 911 last night after having visions of flashing lights and possibly a fire, and got herself checked in to the hospital. It the best thing that could have happened. If my mother had tried it, she never would have gone. Today we found out that she's severely dehydrated, has a UTI, and has a mass on her brain, although the doctor said the latter is probably not related to the hallucinations.

So, we're praying that somehow they can get her treatment, or at least feed and hydrate her enough to stop the hallucinations. If that doesn't work, I don't what else they can do, because she thinks she's allergic to all medications and would never admit to mental illness. Plus, she's still too sharp to slip anything past her. She will not be coerced.

Anyhow, please pray for her. And my mother. And me. Thanks, friends.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

News!

Aaahh, UberDad took the boys next door to play XBox, the house is quiet, and I finally have a moment to sit and write. Yes, so I have company coming over in the morning, and there are dishes on the counter, the bathroom's dirty, and I still haven't unpacked our suitcases from Labor Day weekend. Gimme a break -- it's only been two weeks!

Besides... I have news to share. Let me warm up to it. First, I think everyone should know that s-e-x without a diaphragm is a heck of a lot better than s-e-x with. I didn't realize how much spontaneity was missing because of having to take the time to mess with the horrid thing. I didn't think it was a big deal. Apparently, I'd been pregnant and/or nursing for so long I didn't have much of a memory of S-e-x Before Children.

Anyhow, suffice it to say that it's been good. Really good. And, apparently, successful.

By now, unless you're 8 (in which case -- you shouldn't be reading this! Go find a game site to play on!), you've probably figured out my news. Yep, Offspring #3 has implanted him/herself in my womb, and if everything goes well, should be ripe sometime around June 1, 2006. (For those of you doing prenatal math in your heads, that means I'm just four weeks along, which isn't much at all.)

As much as I wanted to keep my mouth shut for a little longer, I should have known not to take that Early Response test. I have no willpower. Then again, I did manage to go AN ENTIRE DAY without sugar yesterday on my new Refuse To Get Any Fatter Just Because You're Pregnant Diet.

So, this means that I'm finally paying attention to what I eat. There's no deadline like a due date. I might even start taking a Prenatal Yoga class on Saturdays. (It looks like the Saturday night church service won't get going until sometime after Christmas.)

And now, I must go read stories to my secondborn, who, by the way, is still nursing, despite the decreased pain tolerance of my nipples.

Please pray that my chipper mood remains for the duration of this pregnancy, and that the pregancy itself lasts the full nine months -- but no longer.

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Something smells STINKY

Grouper came to me this morning to announce the arrival of something "messy" in his underwear. No, he's not potty-trained. He refuses to use the potty. He also generally refuses to wear diapers. But he LOVES his Power Ranger underwear, and makes sure I keep up on the laundry he creates.

Anyhow, so we're in the bathroom getting him cleaned up, and he says, "Eew, something smells STINKY." And I say, "Yep, that would be the poop." And he says, "No, I think it's Emma." As in, Emma the cat, who was innocently sipping water from the bathroom sink.

Apparently, denial of the stench of our own crap begins early.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Weekly posts just don't cut it.

All of my writing this week was directed toward those potentially involved in starting up a new family-integrated service at church. I completely forgot to write for God's Gals on Monday -- sorry, Laura! :(

We also attended our first-ever all-vegan potluck to celebrate my friend Sarah's 35th birthday. I made a Thai peanut pasta dish. Not as great as expected. But the tofu coconut birthday cake was quite yummy!

AND... I made significant progress on overcoming the messiness of my house. Inviting over a dear friend who hadn't yet seen the new floors was my motivation. Today I finally got out the paint and started on the quarter-round molding that needs to be installed. That's been the big project looming over my head as we've gotten back into our busy social routine. Once the molding's installed, we can finally move the rest of the furniture in, and empty all the boxes that are taking up all the play space in the playroom.

All in all, it's been a pretty good week. Lunatic Mom hasn't been around much. Unfortunately, my blogging muse also appears to be on vacation. Thus, all you're getting today is this boring update.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

breakthrough

You may not have noticed, or you may have, that I've been in a funk for the last couple months. Something happened that I don't think I blogged about, but it was related to the ending of our relaxed weekly homeschooling co-op.

Well, apparently the whole thing affected me more than I let myself admit, and I kind of closed up emotionally and didn't realize I needed to grieve the loss and connect to my friends more. Until today. It's as though the loss and grief being experienced across the gulf reminded my soul of its own loss and grief, though smaller in scale.

This morning I found myself in the shower getting angry with someone I love about something completely unrelated, and I couldn't snap out of it. It wasn't something I wanted to confront the person about, because it couldn't be changed, and it wasn't even particularly rational. Instead, I packed up lunch and took the boys to meet our homeschooling group at the park, hoping I could escape myself by being with friends.

That was good, but it was also an unconscious reminder of what was lost, and what hasn't yet been recreated.

Fortunately, I married my life coach. UberDad is a pretty perceptive man. Rational, objective, and perceptive. He gives good advice. After I talked about seemingly unrelated things, trying to piece together thoughts and reasons for my funk, he reminded me of that event in early summer. And the tears came. I always know when truth has been reached when the tears come, even if I'm not sure what that truth is.

It seems it's time for some community rebuilding. We've been doing a lot of that with church friends through our small group and knitting night, but I need more. I have other (namely, unschooling) friends who are without a church home, who are looking for a truly family-friendly place to worship and fellowship.

So, I'm praying about a new possibility, and brainstorming how to make it work. Pray with me?

Monday, September 05, 2005

Katrina

While I'm not the best about keeping up with the news, I'm not completely oblivious to the hundreds of thousands of people who have been displaced and devastated by Katrina. (I'm pretty sure that name will soon drop completely off every list of popular baby names.) Though it did take me a couple days after the storm to get filled in. Not unlike the federal government, apparently.

In times like these, I have a hard time looking at the death and destruction. I'm not one to slow down to check out wrecks on the side of the freeway, so long as there are emergency personnel present. But something this far-reaching is much harder to ignore. I want to have faith that God is present and in charge even in the midst of our horror and grief. That He has some kind of plan and purpose to enact through this display of force and strength by His own creation.

We enjoyed the more peaceful, beautiful side of that creation at our church family camp this weekend. Spent two days in the Sequoias enjoying the clean air, enormous evergreens, and time to walk through the woods, drive to the lake, or just sit by the fire -- no cooking or cleaning required. The experience contrasted so dramatically with the suffering of those in Lousiana, Missippi and the rest, it was difficult to think about. Even as I had trouble sleeping on the hard, narrow camp bed with my almost 3-year-old son plastered to my side, how could I complain? I had a bed to sleep in. I had an intact home to return to as soon as I wanted. I had my children and husband with me.

In fact, despite our peaceful surroundings, I wondered how much more God's Spirit was at work across the country in the aftermath of the hurricane. Even as new life grows out of the ugliness left by a forest fire, the chaos and filth left behind by Katrina might be more fertile ground for human displays of genuine community, love, and depth of life. Shock, fear, grief and anger come first, of course. But I have to hope that stories of love, hope and bravery will follow.

In the meantime, we can send blankets to refugees, volunteer at our local Red Cross, and pray. It helps to do something, and prayer isn't a small thing.
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