Childhood is Now by Pam Leo
"My experience with children is that when their needs are met and nothing is hurting them, they are a joy to be with. I've learned that children do not always have the language to tell us what is hurting them or what they need so they communicate their needs through 'needy' behavior. When children are not a joy to be with, their behavior is usually an expression of unmet need. Just as a baby's cry is a communication designed to bother us and move us to action to meet the baby's needs, the needy behaviors of children are designed to bother us and move us to action to meet the child's needs."
I just ordered Pam Leo's new book "Connection Parenting: Parenting Through Connection Instead of Coercion, Through Love Instead of Fear" along with "Unconditional Parenting" by Alfie Kohn. I have high hopes for them both.
I finished "You Can Have a Family Where Everybody Wins: Christian Perspectives on Parent Effectiveness Training" by Earl H. Gaulke, which was WONDERFUL. Now I'm reading "Grace Based Parenting" by Tim Kimmel, which has been a slow start. Hopefully I'll get time to review all these books before their influence has completely left my hormonally-imbalanced brain.
Now I'm off to bed finally, since I've been complaining of exhaustion all evening, despite my afternoon nap.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Monday, March 06, 2006
Rainy Monday
We got caught in the rain this afternoon, after a quick trip out to exchange library books and CDs. We missed storytime because Puffer just wasn't interested in getting dressed on time, and trying to rush was making me grumpy. So, I piddled around instead, getting laundry folded and dishes unloaded, and picking up stuff. The boys were happily building Bionicles and playing on the computer until I finally insisted we get our errand done before lunch.
After lunch we got through a library book about trees before my mom stopped by to visit. By this time it was pouring outside, and my mood suggested it was a good day for baking cookies. So that's we did, while listening to the rain and a CD of opera for kids from the library. I also wanted to have something yummy to take with us tomorrow when we go see my friend whose on bedrest. She's not due for a few more weeks and went into premature labor a few days ago, so we're taking over lunch to her and her girls after my doctor's appointment.
I realized this afternoon that I haven't been napping this week, and it's starting to show. Too much going on. I laid down and fell asleep in minutes. The boys played nicely together and I got to sleep for an entire hour! Yay! Meanwhile I got a message that Knitting Night at the Purple Flowers' is cancelled due to illness. So, Carla and son will be coming over for sandwiches instead. I finally started on my first circular knitting project, the bag that will either be for diapers or knitting. But Grouper's also been begging me to knit him a scarf, so I might have to work on that instead tonight.
The ground is going to be soggy tomorrow. I didn't garden this weekend because the garden center was closed due to rain Friday night. Wimps. Saturday went too quickly. Sunday we took the boys to see The Pink Panther in the afternoon. I'm working up the courage to call the boys' Sunday School teacher. When we pulled up to church yesterday, he suddenly cried, "I don't want to go to my class! They tried to give me a time out when I got hungry last time! I asked for a snack, and it wasn't snack time, and they tried to give me a time out!"
ARRGGHHH. I could write a post just about that, but I'll refrain for now. Fortunately, our dear friends who do the toddler class drove up at that moment, and the boys happily went with them instead. But I was a mess.
Well, it appears that Grouper has fallen asleep on my lap to the sound of the falling rain, the theme of Spongebob Squarepants, and my noisy typing. I guess I'll go lay him down and start dinner.
After lunch we got through a library book about trees before my mom stopped by to visit. By this time it was pouring outside, and my mood suggested it was a good day for baking cookies. So that's we did, while listening to the rain and a CD of opera for kids from the library. I also wanted to have something yummy to take with us tomorrow when we go see my friend whose on bedrest. She's not due for a few more weeks and went into premature labor a few days ago, so we're taking over lunch to her and her girls after my doctor's appointment.
I realized this afternoon that I haven't been napping this week, and it's starting to show. Too much going on. I laid down and fell asleep in minutes. The boys played nicely together and I got to sleep for an entire hour! Yay! Meanwhile I got a message that Knitting Night at the Purple Flowers' is cancelled due to illness. So, Carla and son will be coming over for sandwiches instead. I finally started on my first circular knitting project, the bag that will either be for diapers or knitting. But Grouper's also been begging me to knit him a scarf, so I might have to work on that instead tonight.
The ground is going to be soggy tomorrow. I didn't garden this weekend because the garden center was closed due to rain Friday night. Wimps. Saturday went too quickly. Sunday we took the boys to see The Pink Panther in the afternoon. I'm working up the courage to call the boys' Sunday School teacher. When we pulled up to church yesterday, he suddenly cried, "I don't want to go to my class! They tried to give me a time out when I got hungry last time! I asked for a snack, and it wasn't snack time, and they tried to give me a time out!"
ARRGGHHH. I could write a post just about that, but I'll refrain for now. Fortunately, our dear friends who do the toddler class drove up at that moment, and the boys happily went with them instead. But I was a mess.
Well, it appears that Grouper has fallen asleep on my lap to the sound of the falling rain, the theme of Spongebob Squarepants, and my noisy typing. I guess I'll go lay him down and start dinner.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Life goes on.
I suppose after my little outburst some explanation is due.
I found out Tuesday that my friend's husband committed suicide. We used to go to their house with other homeschooling friends every week, but that stopped last summer for various reasons. She went back to work part-time in the fall, her older sons went back to school, etc. We e-mailed once or twice right after that, but haven't since, even though I'd thought of her a hundred times and started messages. We weren't super close, because that takes one-on-one time, and I suppose there were a lot of things I didn't really know about them. And, I suppose she could have reached out to me as easily as I to her.
Anyhow, the news was a pretty big shock. He was a very devoted, attentive, gentle father. They have six kids at home, the younger four are adopted and under age 5. It's hard enough to imagine losing your spouse, but to think of your young children losing their Daddy is unbearable. I don't really know what the problems were that led to this tragedy, but apparently there were several. There must have been. These things don't happen in a vacuum.
I'm going to the funeral tomorrow. Talked to some friends who knew him today at the park. I finally made it back to park day, after not being sure I wanted to keep going at all, and we had a nice time. Some of the older boys welcomed Puffer into their circle, and they sat by the swings telling scary stories. Grouper found a little girl who'd brought her doll and stroller, and they played house together.
While we were out, my sister gave me my Christmas present -- a little belated, but much appreciated. She cleaned my house! Or, at least, most of it. The boys' room looks much better! After attempting to pick up 2,000 tiny K'nex pieces, I finally left the rest and told her to sweep them up and toss them. The tub I have for them wasn't big enough for them all anyhow.
So, now I can concentrate on the garden some more this weekend. And I'll get the rest of the clothes organized as soon as we get the dresser moved over from my mom's house. There's always more to do...
I found out Tuesday that my friend's husband committed suicide. We used to go to their house with other homeschooling friends every week, but that stopped last summer for various reasons. She went back to work part-time in the fall, her older sons went back to school, etc. We e-mailed once or twice right after that, but haven't since, even though I'd thought of her a hundred times and started messages. We weren't super close, because that takes one-on-one time, and I suppose there were a lot of things I didn't really know about them. And, I suppose she could have reached out to me as easily as I to her.
Anyhow, the news was a pretty big shock. He was a very devoted, attentive, gentle father. They have six kids at home, the younger four are adopted and under age 5. It's hard enough to imagine losing your spouse, but to think of your young children losing their Daddy is unbearable. I don't really know what the problems were that led to this tragedy, but apparently there were several. There must have been. These things don't happen in a vacuum.
I'm going to the funeral tomorrow. Talked to some friends who knew him today at the park. I finally made it back to park day, after not being sure I wanted to keep going at all, and we had a nice time. Some of the older boys welcomed Puffer into their circle, and they sat by the swings telling scary stories. Grouper found a little girl who'd brought her doll and stroller, and they played house together.
While we were out, my sister gave me my Christmas present -- a little belated, but much appreciated. She cleaned my house! Or, at least, most of it. The boys' room looks much better! After attempting to pick up 2,000 tiny K'nex pieces, I finally left the rest and told her to sweep them up and toss them. The tub I have for them wasn't big enough for them all anyhow.
So, now I can concentrate on the garden some more this weekend. And I'll get the rest of the clothes organized as soon as we get the dresser moved over from my mom's house. There's always more to do...
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Grieving
Why do I have to be so F***ING self-absorbed that someone has to die before I'm finally motivated to reach out to a dear friend?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
