Merry Christmas (and Happy New Year)!

I know a lot of people have already ripped down their decorations, but technically it's only the seventh day of Christmas, with five more to go... so I'm not actually late in wishing you a merry one! ;)

We've been cozying up at home all week, enjoying new toys and games and books and each other, after a lovely Christmas Eve and Day...

I caught the boys' cough and sniffles the day after Christmas, so I've done a lot of lounging, dreaming about renovating our kitchen this summer, making kindergarten plans for Littlest, and catching up with old friends on Facebook.

I think I was feeling a little manic (in my own lazy way) after the Christmas goodies I ate, and now I want to spend New Year's weekend just knitting and reading... and maybe a little reflecting on 2010. (Scott wants me to give up baking for Advent next year, but I swear we didn't eat that much sugar! And aren't these gingerbread reindeer the cutest?)


But tomorrow's a new month and a new year, so this cold needs to go out with the old!!

We'll get no help from the weather -- we woke up to frost this morning, the coldest morning of the season so far. We already traded in Christmas cookies for frozen fruit smoothies, but now it's time for hot cider and chicken noodle soup!

How are you spending the last day of the year?

Early morning prayers

She gets up while it is still dark,
She provides food for her family...
--Proverbs 31:15

The days are growing shorter, and the early mornings darker. My doctor told me two months ago to sleep in because my body needed it, but this week I've been waking up in the dark, much earlier than usual.

I don't know if it's because Littlest spent a few days waking at 5 while adjusting to the colder temperatures, or because my cortisol levels are improving. I'm not seeing other evidence of this, but I want to take advantage of my eyes popping open -- better to get up early and take a nap later, than oversleep. I went back to sleep the other day after waking up when Scott got up, and my only reward was a nightmare.

She watches over the affairs of her household,
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
--Proverbs 31:27

There have been days recently when I could not get out of bed. When I felt the same as when I had mononucleosis as a child, and lay in bed too tired to even watch tv. There have been other days when I moved as much as I could, but wore out quickly. There have been days when I felt "normal" again, and used every ounce I had, only to be useless the next day. And there have been times when I probably could do more, but chose to be idle instead.

It is difficult with a chronic illness to find the balance between resting to recover, and working to recover. Because if I do not put some effort into planning and preparing meals, and learning more about adrenal fatigue, it may get worse. I need to lean on the Lord every day, and continue to pray for healing, but he has also given us "every green plant for food" -- part of His healing regimen is ready for the eating.

I had a few good weeks after my diagnosis, after getting off sugar and caffeine, taking my supplements, and improving my diet. It was almost too easy. And it didn't last. I got the flu, my adrenals took another hit, and I needed to start all over.

It does not depend, therefore, on man's desire or effort, but on God's mercy.
--Romans 9:16

I have to be careful not to grow discouraged, when eating feels like a chore -- when so many things that used to give me pleasure are now forbidden. I have to be careful not to despair, when my energy runs out before the day's even begun, when the infection for which I cannot take medicine returns, when my blood sugar and hormones cause my mood to drop dangerously low and the boys can see it on my face, even if I bite my tongue.

All day long I have been plagued, and punished every morning.
--Psalm 73:14

And yet, I know this is such a mild, temporary ailment. All around me I witness others suffering from life-threatening disease, from heart-breaking circumstances, from chronic pain which will not end.

I know I am abundantly blessed, with a husband who loves and cares for me, with three beautiful, healthy children, with a home we can afford, and food and clothing as we need it, with friends who know and love me, and parents who live close and are not estranged.

I can know all these things, but if I do not put my hope in the Lord, if I do not listen carefully to His voice, and not my raging thoughts, then I grow hopeless.

But now, Lord, what do I look for?
My hope is in You.
--Psalm 39:7

I am so thankful that I know what the issue is now, and that healing is on its way. I am so thankful that He is with me every step of the way. I am so thankful that He's given us His Word for encouragement, and made healing possible with His blood.

On a quest for nourishing winter food

During the warmer months, I load my kids up with vitamins via frozen fruit smoothies -- they're our favorite healthy, sweet snack.

But when the fog rolls in and the temperature drops, I just want to turn on the oven and bake something! So, we indulge in too many Christmas cookies -- accompanied by hot chocolate to warm up the boys' hands after playing outside.

This has not been so good for our health.

I finally took the kids to the doctor last week, since the cold they caught in early December still hadn't fully let go. Eldest's ears were plugged from sniffing up snot. And Middlest had near constant drainage out the front. Gross, yes.

I know it was our month-long indulgence in Christmas cookies that kept them from fighting off the winter cold. (Thankfully, we haven't been fluey this season.)

I need to find something besides cookies and hot chocolate to warm us up on chilly afternoons. I have several ideas, but I need to try them out first, so I can share recipes and responses with you.

In the meantime, we're laying low this week. Getting cozy on the couch with our books, finding our winter rhythm, and making time for rest.

This post is as overstuffed as our week was.

“Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy! He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.”
--Psalm 126:5-6

As a friend said to me this week, "My cup runneth over and spilleth all over the floor."

It's been a very full week. Full of celebrations and laughter, full of emotions and tears.

My oldest son turned eight years old on Thursday. EIGHT! He received his first pocketknife, his first analog watch, and his first Rubik's Cube. Scott took the day off work, and we celebrated simply with friends and cupcakes at the park.

I cried all the next day. Over clean socks on the floor and other such nonsense. I was trying to catch up on the house and the garden after two weeks of alternating busy-ness and tiredness, and it was obviously too much for one day.

Thank you for all the well wishes and inquiries. I haven't seen the doctor about my test results yet, so I don't know any more, but my hormones were certainly doing their own thing this week. And I've been trying to prepare myself for their next arrival.

After I let out all the yuckies, Saturday was a lovely day. The boys wore themselves out on two bounce houses, sack races, and an inflated obstacle course, first at another birthday party and then our church's spring picnic. They slept hard last night!


Yesterday was good, too. I didn't even mind being peed on during nursery duty. I had a friend to chat and commiserate with, and we always enjoy ourselves.

Later in the day, we took the boys and my parents bowling, since that's what my Birthday Boy had requested instead of a big party. That was so much fun, we wondered why we don't do it more often!


I also got to spend some time in the garden. It was warm, and everything needed a drink. The tomato plants are doing well, including two volunteers that popped up in the compost pile. The corn, zucchini and green beans have sprouted. And the potatoes are starting to come up, too!


I started basil and another batch of peppers and tomatoes in cups. It was 99 degrees last Monday, but it's supposed to be in the 80s this week. If it gets very hot again before they're up, I'll bring them inside. We planted cantaloupe, watermelon, Delicata squash and butternut squash seeds directly in the ground.


Now that the garden is basically planted, I'm ready to focus on the indoors for a while. As long as I water once a day, and weed at least once a week, the garden should just do its thing for a while.

But the house needs some serious decluttering, organizing and spring cleaning! We'll see how that goes... I'm trying to let go of the impossible and just abide in Him.

Hold me tight, Lord, and don't let me get away.

Gratituesday: My body and a good doctor

On the eve of my birthday last week, I made myself a promise -- a promise to take better care of myself during the next year. I wrote this little list in my daytimer...

Go to bed earlier.
Get up earlier.
Breathe.
Pray.
Stretch.
Listen.
Drink water.
Pee.
Move steadily.

Yes, I really do need such basic reminders sometimes. Have you ever noticed that putting off the need to pee can make a person really cranky?

Anyhow, I began my 35th year on my period, with a headache and swollen neck muscles, due to falling backwards on my noggin the day before. My throat was scratchy from what I assumed was allergies, but I wondered if I was fighting off a cold, too. I fell asleep on the couch two days in a row. Thankfully, the boys were happy to rollerskate up and down the sidewalk all week.

I finally gave in and called a doctor. I figured it was a good time for a thorough checkup. I haven't seen a doctor besides my OB and my kids' pediatrician in eight years. And I missed my last OB appointment. (Oops.)

Hubby's been bugging me to call his doc for months. My body has been struggling to keep up with the plans my head makes for it. After a year of PPD, I was doing relatively better the first half of 2008. But by the end of last summer, I was dragging myself out of bed again -- and having some very cranky days.

Sure, mothering can be exhausting, but is it normal to need need 10 hours of sleep at night, and to take another 3 hours to wake up?

Apparently not. Because when I went in on Friday to see my new doctor, an internist who specializes in hormone issues, it seemed pretty clear-cut to him: I've got a hypothyroid issue.

Did you know that the thinning of your lateral eyebrows is a sign of a lazy thyroid? Yep, I haven't just been overplucking. Doc checked my heel reflexes, and my left foot was sluggish. My right foot didn't move at all. That was pretty freaky.

Within an hour of getting home, my body decided it agreed with the diagnosis, and went full force into swollen gland lethargy. Whee! I spent the weekend mostly on the couch and in bed, getting up only to feed the hungry. (Scott was out of town.)

I must have rested enough, because I was able to wake up yesterday in time to go to the lab for my bloodwork, before taking the boys to rockclimbing class.

So, all that to say that I am REALLY grateful to know that I'm not just Mrs. Crazy-n-Lazy. My doctor's not going to send me to a shrink who will tell me I should stop homeschooling and put me on medication that'll make me kill my children. (Yeah, okay, so I'm not sure paranoia is a symptom of hypothyroid, but whatever.)

I am super grateful to have a good doctor who seems to know something useful, and believes he can help me feel better soon.

I am absolutely, incredibly blessed to have a husband who has put up with my mood and energy swings the last couple years, and still loves me.

And, I am grateful for my body. My poor, neglected, hypothyroid body. It's okay, Body, we're going to get better soon.

If you have something you're grateful for and want to share, visit Laura's blog.


Oh, and how did I miss that my Easter post was my 500th blog post?! My goodness -- a birthday, a medical revelation, and a huge blogging milestone in the same week?! I feel like I should have another giveaway, or something! Except that I have no idea what to give away. A box of Zicam? A prescription for Paxil? A good babysitter? I'm sure we could all use some of that!

The 7-Hour Fast

Yes, I was serious. No, it wasn't that interesting.

Last week I spent three hours lying in the dentist's chair. (This was after playing musical bookcases for three days.) Nearly all of my old, nasty mercury-based fillings needed to be replaced in order to avoid root canals.

I didn't know how long the process was going to take, so I took along a book I'd just bought, "The Irresistible Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical," by Shane Claiborne. It was such a good read, that I honestly had no idea how long I was in there until I left the office and checked my phone. I'll have to share more about the book when I finish it. Unfortunately, I seem to have misplaced it among my recently re-organized bookcases...

When I left the dentist, I stopped at a nearby grocery store to pick up a few things for lunch. Walking through a public space with your face only half-working is an interesting experience. I'm the type who usually walks around with a big dumb grin on her face. I'm generally a happy person. It was strange not to be able to smile fully, and to wonder what people were thinking. They were friendly anyway.

I picked up an iced soy latte while I was there. As kids, my mom used to get us milkshakes after we had teeth filled. Drinking out of a straw was lot more challenging than I remembered. It took me all afternoon to finish my iced latte.

Back at home, I lay on the sofa, watching cartoons with whichever boy was interested, and waiting for my face to feel normal enough to eat some lunch. Even mac and cheese was difficult. And my new teeth felt strange, like there was something stuck between them -- except there wasn't. Just the filling.

I don't usually do well without food for very long. My blood sugar drops and I get cranky. Which is why lying around was a good idea. If I didn't use too much energy, my blood sugar wouldn't change too drastically. If only I could follow that routine every time!

My face was numb for almost seven hours. By dinnertime I was starving, and I did get a little cranky. But overall, it wasn't too bad.

Good thing, because I get to go back and do it all again for the other side! Yay, bad teeth genes and lazy flossing!

It's hot here.

The problem with not posting frequently is that I never know where to begin when I finally get a chance to catch up.

I'm thinking I should just commit to blogging every day for the next month, even if it's just something dumb, or only a single sentence. Since I do this mainly because I won't remember anything about my life if I don't, at least that'll be something. I know I'm not holding readers' attention at this point. I'm too inconsistent and my funny side seems to have disappeared along with most of the boys' underwear, Puffer's kung fu pants, and my ability to learn new computer software.

I don't remember what we were doing two weeks ago. Did I tell you we put up a tire swing for the boys? Oh, yes, I think I did. They've been playing on that, and jumping on the new trampoline that came a day too late for the birthday party. Haven't managed to take down the old one yet, so the chickens use it for afternoon shade while they're searching the yard for bugs.

Oh, and we got the (stomach) flu again. Baby first, then me, then the big boys. Puffer is the last one holding on a bit, but hopefully it'll be totally out of his system by the weekend. Man, it was a messy one. Knocked me out for three days. We spent a lovely Mother's Day trying to catch up on dishes and pick up all the toys I hadn't been able to bend over and pick up. And UberDad replaced our very leaky kitchen faucet, so that was my present. Oddly enough, I didn't mind. It's much prettier than the old one. I even cleaned the sink. (*sigh* I remember when I used to do that every day, ala FlyLady.)

Basically we spent the last week of really nice spring weather inside retching and stinking up the house. Isn't that lovely? And now that we're feeling better, and the garden needs weeding, and the fruit trees need thinning and pruning -- it's a friggin' 97 degrees outside. Fortunately I had plenty of laundry to do today while I waited for some late afternoon shade.

A lot of the bloggers I've been reading lately are just getting started on their planting, it's barely spring and the snow is finally melting. Here in central CA, summer has ARRIVED. My tomato plants are in bloom, my cilantro is doing FABULOUSLY, and even the pumpkin plants are blooming, which I'm not sure is good this early, but we'll see. The schoolkids have another two weeks of confinement, of course, but we've got the kiddie pool filled and are readjusting our daily routine around the heat.

My goal now is to drag myself out of bed before 7 a.m., so I can actually get some stuff done before I wilt. Despite growing up in this weather, I've never fully adjusted to it. Most summer vacations I spent lying on the sofa reading novels. I was not exactly an outdoorsy kid. Which is why some people who've known me a little too long sometimes look at me funny when I start talking about raising chickens, digging vegetable beds and pruning fruit trees. And then there's my plan to start canning...

Yes, I know people do this all the time, and I'm not starting some new trend. I know that despite my blog name, I'm not the crunchiest (or even the most "Christian," for that matter) mom around. Honestly, I would start a new blog with a different name, if I could just think of something I'll still like in another month.

Anyhow, I'm rambling, and you probably didn't expect to see a post here at all when you stopped by, so I'll spare you more babbling until tomorrow. (Be sure to leave me a comment to hold me accountable, okay?)

Growing things

Maybe someday I'll be a dependable blogger. Lately I've just been trying to be dependable in real life.

It's been a good couple of weeks, actually. Even with the flu bug that swept its way through our house and is still working through the neighborhood. (I hope everyone feels better soon!)

I finished painting the coop. Mostly. I worked on it the week after Easter, and then got busy washing bedding and keeping an eye on my pukers. But the chickens are growing steadily, and don't seem to mind that I haven't finished the eaves or the back studs.

Here they are devouring some treats -- leftover lettuce, cucumber and tomatoes are their favorite!



Here's Josephine first in line for visitors. She's the queen of the coop, but she rules gently.



Mystery tends to hang back and let everyone else go first. She's the most wary about new foods. She keeps an eye on the littlest girls (the barred Rocks), who don't seem to be afraid of anything.



The vegetable patch is doing well! I was starting to worry that all the carrot seeds we planted wouldn't come up, but they finally peeked out a few days ago. We have one row of seedlings I started in February that are several inches tall. Then four or five more rows that are only tiny little grass-like babies.



The lettuces started from seed look really good. The tomatoes and bell peppers are also doing well. I got them as seedlings, so they had a head start. And the Jack-o-Lantern pumpkins are growing like crazy! I'm going to have to transplant several of them to another mound.

But only three green bean plants, and none of the cucumbers, watermelon or cantalope came up. The kids must have made off with the cantalope seed packet, so I couldn't start those again, but I started some more watermelon and cucumbers, plus cilantro and Italian parsley, fresh in my seedling starter kit. That seemed to work better than sowing them in the ground. I'm a little disappointed that my amendments to the soil aren't making as much difference as I hoped. But this was really a very basic first effort. I haven't had our soil tested, but I know a lot of it is pretty bad.

We also have one plant each of peas, zucchini, strawberries, leeks, basil, and eggplant. Not nearly enough, but I ran out of room in the bed I'd prepared, and ran out of time to work more soil.

Away from home... Last week we met friends at the local native animal zoo, which is always fun to visit. My littlest boy was finally big enough to see into the reptile cases on his own. "Sssnake!" was the word of the day. He is talking a TON. More than I remember the other two doing at this age -- or at least more clearly. 'Course, my memory could be off. :)



On Saturday, we joined friends at the local MS Walk for Life in honor of my friend Sarah. It was a gorgeous day, and we all had a lovely time. Puffer also did his own fund-raising the weekend before when his kung fu studio held a Kick-a-Thon for St. Jude's Children's Hospital. He raised the most money of all the kids! Thank you so much to all our donors for helping both causes!

I've been doing a lot of reading lately, too, but I'll have to save that for another post.

Checking in.

Just a quick note to say, yes, I'm still alive, just busy and tired.

Fall colds have kept us from sleeping well at night, and made us cranky during the day. A pinworm scare sent us to the doctor, and I had to disinfect the house two days after the housekeeper had been here. After skipping swim lessons and canceling playdates just in case, turns out it was just an itchy bottom that went away without explanation.

Besides that, we've been busy with kung fu lessons, the usual errands, meeting friends at the park, and trying to keep up with messes Baby Fish has been making all over the house! I finally got out the baby gate to put up between the kitchen and dining room after I almost killed myself tripping over a cooking pot that blended into the wood floors. Baby can go where he wants. Pots must stay in the kitchen. Toys must stay OUT of the kitchen.

I'm so harsh, I know.

Next week UberDad is going to a teacher conference for four days, and I'm alone with the kids. My mother's in London for the month, so there's no one to rescue me from the chaos. Don't expect to see me posting here. Although maybe it would be therapeutic. Neglectful, I'm sure, but therapeutic.

Snots R Us

Standing up is bad. I tried it. Made my head feel all woozy and faintish. I'm just going to sit here for a few more minutes.

We are all home sick from church this morning. We seem to be making a habit of this. Have too much fun during the week, wake up sick Saturday morning, miss church on Sunday. The Sunday school coordinator is going to think I didn't really want to sign up for the toddler room if we keep this up.

Grouper's nose has been running across his face nonstop since Friday afternoon. His nose and left cheek are a brilliant shade of pink, and he has a lovely cough to go with it. Puffer had a fever yesterday and has the gravely voice, but he seems to be doing the best of all of us today. He tends to fight things off hard and fast.

At least they're in decent moods. Baby Fish looks like Grouper, sounds like Puffer, and has been rather grumpy.

Yesterday the kids finished off a bottle of homeopathic anti-cold pills, and drank nearly half a gallon of orange juice. UberDad and I are taking Zicam and some fancy herbal "Wellness Shots." I'm thinking maybe we should start downing that nasty-looking green juice my friend Sarah used to drink for breakfast every morning. (Do you still do that, Sarah?) Boost our immune systems.

We eat pretty well most of the time -- you know, whole grains, fresh fruit and veggies (okay, not as many as we could). Geez, I didn't even bake cookies on Friday! So, I'm thinking we'd have to do something pretty extreme (read: weird) to make a significant difference in our health.

If I can stand up for longer than it takes to get from the computer to the couch, I'm going to start by disinfecting all the door knobs. That's got to be easier than overhauling our diet. Definitely easier than giving up sugar. (It couldn't possibly be the sugar, could it?!)

Highlights of the last few days

This weekend was a bit crazy. I had two baby showers to attend, almost didn't make either of them. I hadn't had enough time to catch up on laundry, so I was cranky while getting ready for the first one, and the phone kept ringing. Sensing my own anxiety, my firstborn did NOT want me to leave, despite knowing that he, his brother and his Daddy would be meeting friends at Chuck E Cheese's. Poor baby, I was not very good at comforting him, half-dressed and irritated as I was.

When I got home, he'd had a fun afternoon, but no nap, and I was afraid we were going to have another meltdown in my attempt to leave for the second shower, and not long before he'd be ready for bed. So, Scott and I devised a plan to increase my chance of escape without coercion. We loaded both boys in the car, and headed to the video store, hoping that having a new video to watch would be a good enough distraction to prevent freak-outs when I got dropped off.

A mile away from the shower location, Looney Tunes video successfully acquired, I was still doubting whether this was going to work -- and then I looked in the backseat. The boys were OUT. Heads flopped onto shoulders, eyes sealed shut. F was likely to stay asleep through the night, and would never know I'd left. G had just nursed, and would be fine even if he awoke upon arrival home. I finally breathed and relaxed. I even enjoyed the party.

* * * * *
Saturday night I stayed up late doing laundry so I'd have something to wear to church in the morning. Then I overslept by nearly two hours, and sent Scott and the boys to church without me, while I showered, did MORE laundry, and attempted to pick up the house. I often take the boys to church by myself when Scott has a shooting match out of town. That's been a lot this summer. Starting to suspect people at church wonder if we've separated. Of course, we're Episcopalian, so no one asks.

* * * * *
Despite sleeping for nearly 12 hours Saturday night, F wanted to nap after church. We were expected at Scott's aunt's house for his grandmother's 90th birthday party at 2 p.m. I got them down pretty quickly after lunch, but they were not ready to be woken up by the time we needed to leave. We got G in the car just fine, but his big brother wailed and flailed, and continued to protest being carted away from our comfortable bed as we drove off. A block away, Scott made an executive decision to turn around. We put both boys back in bed, and gave it another hour.

By the time we arrived at the party, everyone had finished their cake and ice cream, the kids were getting out of the pool, and we visited with Scott's mom and brother for less than 30 minutes before the guests, including his grandmother, began to leave. No matter. The boys still wanted to swim, and I helped myself to an extra serving of homemade ice cream with fudge. Scott got time to spend talking to his aunt and uncle with no competition. We might have worn them out by extending the party like that, but they didn't complain -- and the boys were in much better moods than if we hadn't let them sleep.

* * * * *
The last two days we've spent mostly at home. My neighbor stopped by no less than five times yesterday. Her 3-month-old has a head cold and isn't nursing well. Plus she's been helping me look for new charms online. I found the charm bracelet my mother-in-law gave me last Mother's Day while rearranging the playroom furniture. Online shopping is addictive, especially when there's something else you should be doing. Like finish writing out my plans for the childbirth preparation class I'll start teaching in two weeks. I spent a couple hours on that yesterday, but I have a lot left to do. I'm taking the boys out of town for the next three days, then we have a birthday party on Saturday, and Scott's teaching a shooting clinic all weekend. Chances are, I won't be blogging much for the next week. I'd rather write when I have an actual cohesive thought to share, anyhow. Take care in the meantime, and know I haven't forgotten you. :)