Not to get opinionated or anything. (After that, this is my blog.)
But did you happen do watch the first segment of Oprah today? This is not my regular habit, but sometimes I look to see who's on. Anyhow, today Suzy Orman told a woman expecting her second baby that she wouldn't be able to afford to stay home with her two kids.
Despite the fact that her husband would still make over $6500/month after taxes, despite the fact that she wouldn't have to pay for expensive childcare, which costs almost as much as her own salary, despite the fact that they have over $100K in a 401K, a $6000 cushion in savings, and $800 left in the revised, one-income budget each month, Suzy determined that this mother hadn't factored in the cost of diapers or formula, and therefore should keep working.
HELLLOOO??!!! ARRGGGHHH!!!! For HEAVEN'S SAKES, Suzy!! This, after saying that we all need to remember WHO we are instead of WHAT we have. I'm sorry, but do you think that newborn baby or her 2-year-old really care whether their parents have $6000 or $12,000 in savings? Does Suzy have so little confidence in this family's common sense that they couldn't reduce their $6000/month expenses in order to spend more time with their babies?? And why the HELL are they asking Suzy Ormond what's best for their family in the first place?!
I'm not even going to go into the statement that they need to budget for formula if she's a stay-at-home mom. I'm sure you can guess how I feel about THAT.
It's pretty clear to me now what Suzy would think of our finances. I would've gotten one huge smackdown if she'd had anything to say about me quitting my job seven years ago -- back when Scott was making less than $2500/month -- and we had NO savings.
He's still not making anywhere near $6000/month, and we're doing beautifully, thank you very much. No, actually, the thanks goes to God's grace, a supportive family, and yes, the fact that I breastfed all three babies and never once had to include formula in the budget.
Cloth diapering didn't hurt, either.
Monday, October 13, 2008
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19 comments:
Wow.. you mean I can't stay at home with my kids like I have done since the day they were born?? (hubby makes way less than $6000 a month.. and we have next to no savings.) There's nothing more important to me than that... no amount of money could take me away from them. None. No amount of potential savings, or retirement, or anything.. could take me out of the home to leave my kids with someone else. There's nothing in the world more important to me than them.. It's funny people will leave all of their life decisions up to some body just because they are on TV. Blah.
It has become clear to me over the last few years that, whether intentionally or subconsciously, Oprah is anti-marriage and anti-family. Of course she and her fans would think me insane for saying that, and would point to lots of shows and charitable donations that supposedly make her a great humanitarian. But her ideology represents total independence for women of the kind that makes the trust and compromise needed for marriage and the sacrifice needed for parenthood impossible. Not to mention all her new age religious bent. I cannot stand to watch her show ever anymore. I am not being facetious or exaggerating when I say that Oprah is very dangerous and she is poisoning our culture with terrible ideas.
Not to get opinionated or anything! :)
Wow, totally missed all of these posts. That would make me angry (we have 3 kids and hubby makes about $3000 a month.) My goodness, what twits people can be.
I'm glad you wrote all that because that is exactly what I thought after watching Suzie Orman on Oprah today. My opinion of her dropped dramatically. She knows about money, she does not know about families....like you said, why are they asking HER about family decisions?? Wild horses could not have kept me away from my 4 sons while they were growing up. There are so many things a mom can do to cut back on expenses but THAT was not mentioned once. And besides, it is very expensive working outside the home, and I'm not just talking about daycare.
Oh wow. Oh cow. I agree with you 100%.
GREAT RANT!
unbelievable that she said all that. sickening, really!
you really should write to them!
how annoying. it bugs me when people think of a 1,000 excuses they can't afford to stay at home with kids.
We don't have TV- well we didn;t for about 4 months. Just bought one this weeekend- but we don;t get channels on it, just watch DVDs.
How could you not afford to live off $6000 a month?!?! My parents raised 5 kids on $2000 a month...and they thought they were doing great!
My husband and I don't have much right now...but weren't still making ends meet. No, I couldn't afford formula or diapers...but I'm breastfeeding and using cloth anyway!
Hi! I found your blog through Grandma Honey's blog, which is my all-time favorite. I'm becoming fond of yours, too. We raised 5 sons and unschooled them all. Our youngest is now 22. For most of the time our children were growing up in the 70s and 80s, we were lucky if my husband was bringing in $1000 a month. We were fine. We bought everything with cash, made all our food from scratch, grew gardens, raised goats and chickens, bought used clothes, and entertained each other for free. No TV in the house. It really is possible to live on one very modest income. Even today. My advice, let your TV sit dormant while you are proving all the "experts' wrong by living the good life happily oblivious to the "fact" that it "can't be done". By the way, my sons all say their childhood was "the best!"
Darlene Lester
I am SO glad there are so many of us choosing our kids over our savings accounts! And, yes, there are way better things to do than watch TV. :)
I thought the SAME thing! Instead of telling her denied, tell her to cut back on Starbucks and cell phone plans and cable tv and stay at home with those babies. You can't put a price tag on hearing the first word, watching the first step.
I think, if the mom really wants to stay home though, she will, no matter what Suze says.
And 6,000 a month! Holy cow! I can't even imagine pulling that much in a month. I'm sorry, but seems to me if the hubby is making 6000 a month then they can figure out a way to let her stay home!
Every once in awhile, I think to myself, I wonder what is on TV?
So glad to know I am not missing anything.
Something to remember about Suze. She thinks/knows she grew up poor(and she will tell you herself, poor is a state of mind). But when she goes off about kids and families and how much money they need, she is talking from that place inside where she is still poor and doesn't want other kids to have that same experience.
Not saying she is right, Lord knows that the reality of kids is a life changing event that really sets your priorities, if you let them, but I don't think she has kids and so she doesn't have "parent vision" only "kid vision" in this.
I for one am grateful I have my kids to remind me what is really important and how grateful I am that no one was around to tell me that nannies and diapers and formula (none of which I bought anyway) cost as much as commuting and dry cleaning.
Good insight on Suzy, Heather Lee.
Gosh, I hope someone pointed out to that poor mom-to-be that she didn't HAVE to BUY diapers OR formula. We used cloth diapers, which was totally doable, because I was (*gasp*) home full-time with my children, and I breastfed (saved a fortune - apparently, according to Suze Orman, a WHOLE salary!).
I wonder if Suze factored in the cost of daycare and all of those "work related" expenses the mother had that would be null and void when she is no longer working?
I had to stop watching daytime television, because I would get too irritated and start ranting at the screen, which scared my kids. Better to just sit here in my fantasy land, where I'm a stay-at-home Mom, my husband makes less than $6000 per month, and we've managed to have a decent savings, no debt (except our house), homeschool, including some rather expensive classes, and eat right well for people who are, apparently, so financially strapped :).
Holy Moly! So glad that I canceled my Oprah tivo season pass. I don't know who Suzy Ormond is but I guess that I need to google her and then add her to my list of psychos to avoid!
I'm not a parent but I have read Suze Orman's ideas about finance. I don't agree her in this respect either. I hope that family is able to think for themselves instead of listening to others or at least Suze.
I've been reading a lot of parenting/sociology/psychology type books lately about raising kids in our society (and none of these authors purport to be Christians). They ALL talk about how depressed and anxious kids are (sometimes to the point of drug abuse and suicide)and the main reason for this appears to be because they don't get to spend much time with their parents. Even teenagers express a desire to spend more time with parents. It's amazing that so many parents think having money to give their kids all the latest gadgets is somehow more helpful than giving them time and attention! I guess it shows are far gone into materialism our society has gone. Even many Christians buy into this mindset. I try not to, but it's something I struggle with constantly, and I don't feel like I have many role models to help me along.
I can't stand Suze Orman either. And my husband only made $8/hour when we decided I would stay home with our firstborn. Yay...it wasn't pretty for awhile but totally worked.
GAG
And my MOM thinks she walks on water! gag again! S.O. has never had a special needs kid, either, nor major health issue, nor anything horrible happen to her. She's been rich for so long she doesn't remember when things were tight.
My kids are adults now, but if I'd listened to her, then I'd never have been able to fight for my kids (even taking the school to a due process hearing). I'd never have become a good seamstress, or learned to knit---all these I did while staying at home.
S.O. says not to put money first, but obviously she doesn't ascribe to that...
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