Thursday, September 18, 2008

I'm not jealous. I'm not jealous. I'm not jealous.

So. I've decided that no one who already has three children is allowed to have ANY MORE. Or at least, if they do, they're not allowed to tell me about it.

Because really, people. I'm done. I'm DONE, I tell you!

Seriously, have you noticed all the people getting pregnant with their fourth lately? SouleMama, for one. She gives me morning sickness just watching her do it so beautifully. And then there's Jessica, whose sickness was so bad, I was grateful it was her and not me. Until recently, when she started sewing adorable girly things again. Darn you, Jessica!

And now Heather, too?! Come on, you already have three girls! And a teeny tiny little apartment. Thanks for making me feel bad for making excuses that we don't have room for a fourth.

How are you people planning to pay for college, anyway??

It's not my fault. Do you know how hard I had to work to convince UberDad that we should have a third?! It took months and months! He was not anxious to begin another round of "Mommy won't get off the couch and we're hungry, Daddy."

I was a nightmare. Postpartum depression for most of the first year. The baby who wouldn't nurse anywhere but lying in bed. The baby who cried for six weeks straight.

And now he's so cute.

I can't blame Scott. He has one sibling. He never expected to have more than two kids. He hoped one of them would be a girl. He no longer believes we're capable of making girls.

And we're fine with that. Boys are awesome! They adore their mommies. They are constant entertainment. They don't have cat fights. I rarely have to brush their hair. No weddings to be responsible for. No teenage girl hormones. No tea parties. No pretty dresses to sew.

It's okay. I'm expecting granddaughters. I'll have more time for sewing then anyway.


Heather said...

I am SO GLAD I am not the only one. We desperately want more children than our beautiful 3 but really, really should not. I got sicker and sicker with each one to the point where I spent 4 months at the beginning and another 2 months at the end stuck in bed unable to deal with anything at all, meaning poor hubby not only had to do IV's for me for the first part AND work AND deal with the kids but also had to deal with everything at the end. Sigh. And then the whole, you should never have more children because you likely won't live through the pregnancy thing. Sigh. We are hoping to adopt, someday, maybe.

Kaber said...

I wanted 5 boys, SO BADLY. My husband only wanted 2 kids. He agreed to 3. He then got a vasectomy (against my wishes) and '
no more kids for us. I ciend for months. and for yrs I still got weepy each month. (and I don;t get moody or anything really with PMS)

I still ache each time I read of people having 4 or 5 kids (or more- but I don't sad when I read about moms with 11, LOL- that's beyond me)

with my husband, it wasn't lack of money, lack of space, hard pregnancies- he just thinks there's no need to have more kids than parents.

he told me we could adopt, then changed his mind. But we did have a 'foster boy' for 8 months from Honduras (we didn't get money or anything, all out of pocket- and he was fine with that- so I know it's not "we can't afford more")
that was so enjoyable! for awhile I had 4 boys!

Earthmommy said...

I now just what you mean. We have three, and the third one came 12 years behind the first two. At times I wish for a 4th, mostly when I feel guilty about the 3yo being lonely. Then I think about getting up at night, lugging a huge diaper bag and everything else that comes with a wee one and realize that, yea I really am done!

Love your blog!

Mandy said...

oh wow. i'm pregnant with number three and it was NOT planned. we were going to have more just not yet. and it's been a hard pregnancy. but i just know we'll make it through. and the thing is, unless i remove my husband's testicles or something drastic that is against our religion, we will have a fourth and a fifth. i guess i just sorta know that God will take care of us. because all of my kids belong to him but this one is HIS responsibility because we were using a condom!!

Brandie said...

I e-mailed this in response to the comment you left me, only to realize it went to bloggercomments and not you LOL! So I'm just gonna c&p it here because I'm too lazy to retype it!

Awww Thanks - I just wanted you to know you weren't alone, because I still think I must be the only mother on the planet who has days where I want to run from the house crying - or kick everyone out so I can have the house to myself! LOL

On another note, I totally feel your stop talking about 4th child post from today too. I SOOO want a 4th child right now! But, I didn't want another child when we had the third and hubby got a vasectomy (he wasn't sure he ever wanted more than 1 LOL). He is so done having more children he just laughs when I mention the words reversal or adoption! He thinks we have our hands full with 3 - which we do - and he wonders how we will feed another child.

:::sigh::: I just need a friend who lives close to have a baby so I can go over and hold the baby and babysit the baby and make pretty things for the baby!

Natalie said...

Now see, in the beginning, we were undecided - I thought I wanted 4, he was pretty sure he wanted 2, and we "decided" that we'd reassess after 2.

Which we did, and initially decided we did want three. Except, it didn't work as well as we hoped, and about 7 or 8 months later, we moved to FL and, hey now, life was suddenly so easy - no diapers, no nursing babies - just two little munchkins (a boy and a girl!), and we realized we were pretty happy. Since hubby had just started a new job (the reason we moved to FL), he thought he'd wait a month or two and get a V.

Except that, apparently, our decision to stop at two was preceded by the conception of baby #3.

Heh heh!

But, after that (and 3 c-sections, and milk supply issues for the latter two babies), I was done. And still am HAPPILY done. DH has had his V, and really, I never feel a twinge for more. At most, there are days when I could turn back the clock a bit - go back and hold my wee ones when they really were wee - one more time.

But #4? No. Although we've talked about fostering, but ONLY fostering - not a foster-adopt situation.

I have a son and two daughters. And my "used to be girly" 7yo has taken to wearing her older brother's outgrown clothing. Love it! LOL

DebD said...

LOL - I have 3 girls and 3 boys. When I was preggy with my last (and I do get terribly sick - its awful) I remember praying and praying to please let it be a boy. Girls can such weepy drama queens! I just didn't want to deal with that anymore. I was so happy to have my last little boy. And you're so right - they are very affectionate.

Enjoy your boys and be at peace. You know what is best for your family.

p.s. I've enjoyed your blog ever since finding it via the Simple Woman's Daybook a few weeks ago.

princessmama said...

I have had two rough pregnancies and deliveries. A third pregnancy was ectopic and went undiscovered until it ruptured. Almost bleeding to death will lay you up for a few months I can tell you. With constant health issues now I argue with myself constantly. I really don't want more kids until I can take care of more. Still, it's tough, I never imagined having only two kids. We want to adopt also, but I don't want to take that step until I feel I can give the kids so much more than I do now. I'm so glad God is sooo good!!! He is always reminding me of His constant presence in my life. I'm trying to be patient and see what He has next for our family. I want to be well sooo bad, it is hard to be patient and eat just right and wait for my body to recover from all the things that built up over the years. It helps to have two adorable kiddos filling up my days with laughing, and whining, and everything else they can think of lol. :)

Crunchy Christian Mom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Crunchy Christian Mom said...

It's so complicated, isn't it, these blessings we're given? To have some control, some say, but not to be fully in charge! And thank the Lord for that!

Thank you for all your sharing. Other people's stories always help my perspective.

And I am definitely enjoying my boys today. :) Plus, we get to go celebrate the birthday of a friend's little girl this morning, so I'm sure I'll get to see some pretty pink things, too!

verymom said...

Heh, and here I am mourning the fact that I probably shouldn't put my body and family through this ever again. And I so would like five. Ah well.

Paying for their college educations? Pah! Sheesh, they'll work their way through just like their father and I did! Always seemed to me like the kids that paid for their own educations appreciated it far more than those that got a free ride from mama and papa. ;o)

Candy Cook said...

Thanks for commenting on my blog. I like your last line, there.. "I'm expecting granddaughters." It's how I'm hoping to get my girl, too. LOL said...

More children? I'll just take ANY children! Josh and I can't wait to be parents and we are so envious of all of these people who can just go get pregnant when they want a child. Not fair.

Not fair at all.

Excellent post, by the way.


Anonymous said...

Hey! This is my first visit. I firmly believe that this is a decision God leaves to each couple. I know there are people who believe differently, but I don't think you have to have unlimited numbers of children if that is not something you have prayerfully agreed upon. I had a lot of health problems, worse with each baby, and I am grateful that I was able to carry 4 babies. Don't let anyone try to make you feel bad about your personal decision.
There, I said it! It's a hotbed of contention in some circles. I just try to avoid that discussion.
Come visit my blog sometime!

Elizabeth said...

LOL This cracked me up. We're expecting number 3 soon and as much as I'd love to have 4, 5, and possibly even 6... We really should stop at 3.

mandi said...

oh i know this feeling. i want number 3 so badly...
and there is the mantra "i know god has a plan for me, i know god has a plan for me..." but 30 days later i'm sad. my prayer right now, help me rejoice in my 2 beauties. i've always been a proponent for allowing god to decide the number of kids you have (ie: no birth control) thinking that this would mean i'd have at least 4 minimum. but sometimes it means you will have 2. and you have to be ok with that (and by 'you' i mean 'me').

Band of Brothers said...

wow. what a post. i enjoyed reading those sites you linked!

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