My week, in imaginary photos of appliances.

(Imagine a photo of a microwave with a 1.5 inch triangular hole in the front glass.)

Sometime last week, I discovered that my microwave had a mysterious injury rendering it useless. No one in my household had any idea how the injury was created. Apparently, it was an act of God. (Not to blame You, exactly, Lord, but no one else wants to take responsibility. You know us sinners.)

(Imagine a photo of a cobalt blue Kitchenaid stand mixer, its top tilted oddly forward.)

Several months ago, my mixer started acting funny. As in, wobbling a lot, making miserable noises and bumping the paddle against the bowl until the coating was rubbed off the bottom. Yes, I should have stopped before that point. So much for hindsight.

Sometime this week, I went with my mother to Macy's to look for new mixing bowls, because making pizza dough by hand was more trouble than necessary without a deep enough bowl. And I started dreaming of a new Kitchenaid, maybe in a pretty apple green, with lots of extras... like an ice cream maker attachment, a pasta maker, a grain grinder!

Then yesterday, I noticed an odd smell in the kitchen while my mother and I were cleaning out my pantry and doing dishes, but I didn't know where it was coming from. Then I noticed it much stronger when I came in from watering the garden and Scott had cleaned up after dinner.

It was coming. From. The dishwasher.

(Imagine a photo of 10 feet of counter and kitchen sink, piled with dishes, and an empty hole beneath the counter where a dishwasher used to be.)

This is what my kitchen looked like (okay, still looks like) 24 hours after my 10-year-old dishwasher ran its last cycle last night. I was too busy calling around town asking about dishwasher installation charges to actually wash them by hand. Plus I figured my new Energy Star washer would be much more efficient. (Yes, my crunchy side justified my lazy side!)

After doing some research online, we went to Lowe's to pick up a new, white, Whirlpool 1055XTS. For $348 plus tax. Delivery and installation would have been another $115. More than the Kitchenaid Artisan with an ice cream maker.

(Imagine a photo of a large brown city trash bin.)

Sometime after looking at $400 mixers online, I realized that I never put my wedding ring back on after making pizza dough. When I finally cleaned the counters, it was nowhere to be found. I freaked out, assuming it accidentally was swept up with food debris and put in the compost or trash. But I didn't want to tell Scott until I'd looked everywhere possible. So this morning, right after breakfast, I headed out to the trash bin, terrified that I was too late, and the ring might have been in a bag that was carried away at the last pickup.

I pulled out the fabric from the old trampoline that Scott took apart this weekend. I pulled out the three bags of trash my mom and I cleaned out of my pantry. I got down to the two bags of kitchen trash in the bottom of the bin. The only two bags my ring might be in. I prayed. I reached in past the spiders and maggots, and began to dump out the contents of those bags. No sign of the pizza meal we'd eaten the night I took off my ring. And as far as I could sort...

No ring.

(Imagine a photo of me crying on my mother's shoulder as she assured me that I had what was really meaningful, my marriage.)

BUT. God is good. All the time.

My parents have an extra microwave in storage that we can use.

I finally called the Kitchenaid hotline, and I think I was able to fix it.

We actually had the money to buy the dishwasher, even though it wasn't how we planned to spend it.

And when I tearfully told Scott I thought I'd lost my wedding ring, he reached up onto a bookshelf and pulled it out of the little china jar he'd put it in for safe keeping when he cleaned the kitchen that night.

Hallelujah!

Now, if He would just help Scott install the new dishwasher. He's been working on it for three hours, and it's not going so well. Might have been worth the extra $100 after all.

(Insert truly imaginary photo of a boxy, silver HP digital camera.)

And, Lord, about my camera? I'm not quite sure why it stopped working tonight. But it doesn't look good. I REALLY REALLY want it to start working again.

'Cause I just spent the money I hoped to use on my first digital SLR on a new dishwasher that's driving my husband nuts.

Amen.